Naruto : Rewrite
by Rickysio
Summary: What happens when a certain blonde buys an old training manual? AU, slight Crossover with Louis Cha's works. NaruXfemHakuX? Pairings Undecided. Read A/N in latest chapter.
1. Chapter Zero : Prologue

Disclaimer : I don't own Naruto, or other anime or manga which I may utilize in the story. If I did, the manga wouldn't be called _Sasuke_.

Chapter Zero : Prologue. 

* * *

Location : Elemental Countries, Hi no Kuni, Konohagakure no Sato, Hokage Tower, Hokage's Office.

Date : 5 October 146

Time : 09 00 Hours

Minato Namikaze relaxed on his chair, his Kage Bushins taking care of his paper work. Sneaking a glance around, Minato produced a key from his front pocket, before easing the key into the hidden keyhole on the table itself. As the key went flush against the wooden grains, the keyhole lit up. A hidden compartment dropped from a panel – formerly hidden.

Minato nimbly grabbed the compartment before it clattered on the floor and retrieved the scroll inside, before placing a strong Genjutsu on the door. To an ignorant observer, they would only see their Hokage hard at work. The compartment, now forgotten on the table was left alone as Minato walked off with the scroll opened. _Now where did I stop yesterday? _

Unlocking another door that stood in front of him, the Yondaime opened the door. Closing it behind him, he activated the seals carved on the other side of the door. Satisfied with the security it provided, Minato spread the scroll open on a table, before grabbing a bottle of ink and a brush placing it besides the scroll. Quickly scribbling calculations on some rough paper with a pencil whose end was currently being chewed on, Minato paused.

_Is this alright? It works fine in theory, but what truly will happen in reality? Is it wrong to forcefully summon a creature of such might? _

Brushing aside his concerns, he scribbled down a possible seal and penned the calculations by the side, before crunching up the paper and tossing it aside. Grunting in frustration, Minato relaxed on his chair. His wife was pregnant, and the baby was due anytime soon. The Yondaime smiled as he thought about how his child would look like. Would the boy look anything like his mother or like him? Hopefully he wouldn't pick up any of his highly irregular tendencies. Like the insatiable urge to annoy the citizens of Konohagakure no Sato with an ill timed prank. While Kushina had managed to _convince_ him rather _peacefully_ to stop, his fingers itched whenever the opportunity presented itself. He chuckled as he remembered the time before he became the Hokage he strung the high and mighty Uchiha family's underwear all around Konohagakure no Sato under a strong Henge.

Shaking himself out of his musings, Minato walked over and penned another set of calculations before scribbling down a possible seal. After double checking it, he opened the bottle of ink and added the final seal to the set. _At long last.__ Shiki Fuuin, completed. __Theoretically._

* * *

Time : 15 00 Hours

"Hokage-sama! We have reports that the King of the Underworld, the Lord of Hell, the God of Fire, the Kyuubi no Kitsune is approaching our village!" The ANBU reported, slightly out of breath from sprinting all the way back from the border.

"How long more before it comes?" Minato questioned. The ANBU became quiet, and after a moment replied, "One week, Hokage-sama."

"Cease all outdoor trainings and withdraw all shinobi on missions immediately! Set up underground bunkers large enough to contain the civilians and food supplies! Start buying food and other essentials to stock up the bunkers!" Minato barked, mentally cursing. Kushina was about to give birth soon, and the dratted fox had to appear now.

"Hai!" The ANBU replied respectfully, before disappearing in a plume of smoke.

* * *

Location : Elemental Countries, Hi no Kuni, Konohagakure no Sato, Konohagakure no Sato Hospital, Maternity Room #01-29

Date : 10 October 146

Time : 13 00 Hours

"It's all your fault you… you… BLONDE NO BAKA!" Kushina screamed, grabbing Minato's hand hard. He winced in pain as his wife swore at him using words he'd never expect out of her mouth. He winced again when she started threatening his supply of food, namely Ramen. His mentor was beside him chuckling, and so was his predecessor. "Stop laughing Jiraiya-sensei, it's not funny at all!" Minato cried in frustration.

"Minato-sensei, the fox is just a day away. What are your orders?" A dog masked ANBU with silver hair appeared. "Man the battle stations and if needed be, fight with your lives. Is there anything else Kakashi?"

"No, sensei." With that, the ANBU disappeared again.

"Push, Kushina-san, push. On the count of three…" Minato zoned out as the nurse aided his wife in giving birth. Staring out of the window, he wondered why he suddenly felt such a sense of despair.

* * *

Location : Elemental Countries, Hi no Kuni, Konohagakure no Sato, North Gate.

Date : 10 October 146

Time : 18 00 Hours

"The Hokage's here!" Cheers were heard and the shinobi doubled their efforts. Perched on top of Gamabunta with Sarutobi besides him, Minato looked lovingly at the bundle in his arms. "You know what to do, don't you Saru? The fate of Konoha rests in your hands."

"Of course, Minato-san." The Sandaime said sadly. "Are you sure you don't want me to do it? You could…"

"No." Minato spoke harshly. "You are best suited to rebuilding the village again. I am not as level headed as you, and I don't think I can rebuild Konoha with my current capabilities." When Minato saw that the Sandaime wanted to argue, he cut the old man off. "This is my duty as the current Hokage."

Seeing that the stubborn man was set in his ways, Sarutobi could only prepare for what he had to do. Gathering the chakra needed, he nodded. Taking the nod as the cue to act, Minato's hands flashed quickly through the various handseals, before concluding with a shout that made the entire battlefield quiet. "_SHIKI FUUIN!"_

A spectre garbed in black appeared, a nodachi hanging by the belt. Minato moved fast. A third spectral hand emerged from his chest, and using that hand, he grabbed the Kyuubi. **"I won't be defeated by a mere mortal! I refuse to accept this!"**

"Shut up you overgrown fur ball." Minato grunted, pulling the Kyuubi's soul out of the temporary body. **"What… what is going on?!"**

Minato's eyes widened. "You mean, you don't even remember destroying more than _HALF_ of Konoha? Don't lie Kitsune."

**"I swear it on my life that I seriously don't remember a thing at all!"**

Minato was silent. According to his research, when a demon swore, it was binding and no demon had ever successfully evaded a promise before. "This is a predicament. Simply put, you have attacked and destroyed half of Konoha, and I have summoned the Shinigami to seal your soul. I will seal you in a newborn kid. My kid, in fact."

Sensing Minato's intentions, the Kyuubi spoke. **"Seal my Chakra ****whole,**** don't bother separating the Yin from the Yang as the two MUST be balanced."**

Rushing back to his son, Minato thought. _I apologize, my dear son, I had no choice to bring you here but it seems that the situation has escalated out of my control. All I wished was for you to have a nice life, but it seems that I've to use you as the vessel._

Grunting with the effort of lugging around a gigantic monster, Minato slammed the third hand into the navel of his newborn son. "Sarutobi-san, two Shishou Fuuins and a Hakke no Fuuin Shiki now!"

Moving quickly for his advanced age, Sarutobi retrieved three pieces of paper from his seal pouch and slammed them on the baby's navel, before pouring his chakra into the seal, activating them and they flowed off the paper and onto the navel. "I do hope you know what you are doing Minato-san. Sealing the Kyuubi in your boy…"

"It is for the best. All I can do is hope that the villagers will understand that the boy is the Kyuubi's jailor… not the Kyuubi incarnate. I've left some instructions under the desk in the secret compartment..." The baby wailed, opening its eyes. Minato kneeled, exhausted as he felt his life draining out of him. Kissing the boy the final time on the forehead, Minato's figure toppled over onto the ground, where the cheering shinobi forces quickly quietened down as their saviour dropped.

"Very well then Minato. I'll take care of your boy." Sarutobi said sadly as he saw Kakashi Hatake rush over to catch his sensei's body. Sarutobi then tried to soothe the wailing baby's cries, but failing, he decided to Shushin back to the Hokage Tower. Sarutobi grumbled as he held the baby in his arms. _Wait! Blast you, Minato! You made me have to face PAPERWORK again! I should have just knocked you out and do the job myself!_

* * *

End of Chapter Zero.

A/N : This is going to be the only chapter where every break has the location, date and time stated.

A/N 2 : Ambiguous wordings changed. .


	2. Chapter Zero Point Five : The Beginning

Chapter 0.5 : The Beginning.

* * *

_In the beginning, there was nothing. It was dark, and there was no light._

_In the middle, three golden sparks emerged._

_One became Tenkai, where it was rumoured that it was where Kami resided._

_One became Ninkai, where the humans and animals resided in unity._

_One became Makai, where the demons came from._

_Over the years, Ninkai developed. Buildings rose and fall, civilisations began and died out. Organisms evolved and became extinct. The flow of life never stopped. Technologies were invented and became outdated. Then, war came. Thousands died, millions died. The toll increased non-stop, and the world was heavily damaged._

_Those in Tenkai became concerned. Striking a deal with nine most powerful demons in Makai, the demons gained assess to Ninkai and wiped everything off the surface of the earth. Everything was reset, and those in Tenkai began their laborious job again…_

_The nine demons, gaining power from the deals, couldn't go back. They were ostracised from both Tenkai for being demons, and from Makai for being tainted by Tenkai. They went into deep lumber beneath the new Ninkai and went to sleep…_

* * *

End of Chapter 0.5.


	3. Chapter One : Baby Blues

Chapter One : Baby Blues.

* * *

A two year old blonde baby with a mop of untameable hair crawled across the floor, reaching upwards, the boy giggled when he touched something. Pulling it down, he recognized it as a scroll, something Saru-ojisan had forbidden him to touch. The admonishments of the Hokage's brushed aside, he hastily unclasped the scroll.

Spreading the scroll on the floor, the boy giggled while reading the scroll, occasionally feeling the need to roll around. _What this? Ka… __Kage Bushin?_

Hours later, an irate Sarutobi found the Forbidden Scroll in the open and clearly forgotten by the perpetrator. _Na-ru-too_…

* * *

Naruto was perched on the Sandaime's lap, a book laying on the table temporarily forgotten as the old Hokage ticked the young boy. "Stop that Saru-ojisan!" 

The boy giggled when his sides were restlessly attacked by the Sandaime.

* * *

"Naruto-kun, I trust that you are old enough to behave yourself, don't you? Don't cause any trouble for me." The Sandaime fondly ruffled the blonde's hair. "If you have any trouble don't hesitate to look for me. My doors are always open for you." 

He left the two and half a year old Naruto at the door of the Orphanage, where the Council had forced him to leave the blonde at. His heart wrenched when the Council had forbidden him to interrupt Naruto's life any further... That is, until Naruto became a shinobi. Then, the council could do jack squat about what he wanted to do. After all, shinobi fell under the jurisdiction of the Hokage, not the council.

* * *

"He ran down the alley! Quick!" The shout resounded loudly, alerting the gathering mob of his location. "After him!" 

Naruto cursed and picked up his speed. He was garbed in dirty yellow robes, tattered and torn, and a pair of oversized pants held together by strips of cloth. The four year old boy stumbled across the uneven terrain, and he cursed mentally when he almost tripped.

"Damn it!" He swore when he saw that his toe was swollen.

He had managed to read his first scroll when he was two, still in Sarutobi's office. Of course, that man had been displeasured when he found out the Forbidden Scroll had been read, the traps set either ignored or useless against the baby. After all, the traps were calibrated for people of stature higher than one meter, so everything missed.

Although he didn't really understand anything, that book was his first book. The Sandaime had taken the chance to ease the scroll out of his hands and teach him the language. Sarutobi had certainly been surprised when Naruto absorbed his lessons like a sponge. With a decent grasp of the language, Sarutobi felt relieved when Naruto realised the severity of his actions. That was, until he was kicked out of the orphanage.

Naruto quickly dodged into a dumpster, crawling towards the back where he had formerly cut out. Squeezing through the hole, Naruto emerged on the other side while the mob searched for him. If it was a normal mob, he would have easily outran them as his speed was quite good for his age. However, this was no normal mob, and there were Chuunin and Jounin mixed between them. If not for his innate knowledge of the alleyways, he would have been long caught and be beaten badly.

"There he is!" Dodging at the last second, the kunai whizzed past his head. Stepping undercover from the shurikens and kunai being thrown by running into another alley, Naruto cursed when he realised that there was Hyuugas in the mob. He cursed when he ran headfirst into an apathetic Hyuuga. The man gave him a cold sneer before kicking him in the ribs. Hard. Naruto was sure that something had broken and his breathing was laboured as he soared into an abandoned alleyway.

Grabbing his sides in pain, Naruto tried to stop the tears that were threatening to escape his iron grip. No, he wouldn't give the evil bastards the chance to see him cry. No, he wouldn't give them the chance to see that they had actually managed to hurt him.

He clenched his teeth and the first tear trickled down his cheek. He withdrew his knees to his chest and cried silently. He was glad that the Hyuugas didn't bother to check and ran off in another direction. When he felt that the pain was numbed, he picked himself up and started limping through the extensive alleyways back to his meagre apartment. He always had a freaky rate of healing, and Sarutobi refused to tell him why.

He limped the way up the stairs and finally reaching his destination, he lay down on his dusty old bed and drifted off to sleep, the pain sapping his strength…

* * *

Location : Naruto's mindscape. 

"What…" Naruto spared a glance to his surroundings.

Water dripped from the ceiling, forming dirty pools of blue on the floor. The surrounding walls were dirty brown, and muck formed odd patches on the walls.

"Where…"

**"Open the door in front of you, and I will answer your questions."**

"Who…"

**"Do I have to REPEAT myself?" **The voice snapped exasperatedly.**"Or is it that you're too dumb to understand such simple words?"  
**

"Alright, don't get your panties in a twist…" Naruto cautiously scampered forward and grabbed the doorknob. Twisting it, he swung the door open and walked into the large room behind the unassuming door.

There was a gigantic amount of steel bars attached to the floor and they reached up to the ceiling. There was a piece of paper fluttering around with the kanji for seal on it. Pipes extended from cage towards an unknown destination. There were two pipes, one small thin one, and one large thick one. The large pipe glowed red in colour while the small thinner one glowed blue.

**"Before I start, do you mind changing the area? It stinks." **

"How…"

**"Picture it in your mind. After all, a person is the master of their mind."**

Naruto closed his eyes and focused. He remembered the small patch of grass near a lake where no one tried to bother him. The smell of fresh grass hit his nose and he opened his eyes.

"It worked…"

**"Of course it worked. If it failed I'll have no face to continue calling myself the Ruler of the Bijuu, etc."**

Naruto's mind made the connection immediately. The Ruler of the Bijuu was definitely the Kyuubi no Kitsune, which had attacked Konoha and was defeated on October Ten. He was born on October Ten, and he had always been attacked on the date particularly. With the thing inside of him called the Ruler of the Bijuu, this meant that…

**"Good, glad to see that you aren't an idiot after all!"**

The voice was getting nearer, and Naruto turned his head around, before his eyes stopped on a most extraordinary sight.

**"What? Did you expect me to be a male?"**

The Kyuubi was clad in a light red yukata, her black silky hair hanging below her waist, nine tails waving in the wind, emerging from…

Naruto blushed.

**"Why, it seems that someone needs to get his mind out of the gutter."**

She laughed, her voice tinkering like bells. She gave him a cheeky grin.

"Ano, well…"

**"There's no need to explain ****yourself****. It's natural."** She waved his perverseness off.

Naruto suddenly had a stroke of inspiration. If the Kyuubi was as old as she was, she definitely knew a lot of things. Things Sarutobi refused to tell him. "Do you know who my mother is?"

"Do you know who my mother is?"

**"By your tone, you already know who your father is."**

"It's obviously Minato Namikaze, the forth Hokage."

**"And how did you come to that decision?"**

"By following the logical thinking of a Hokage, and observing. One whose eyes weren't clouded would instantly find the resemblance in the hair and the blue eyes. Also, whenever Sarutobi-oji-san dismisses me, he will look at the Yondaime's picture. You may think that Sarutobi-oji-san was merely asking his successor and predecessor about his choice regarding his legacy. It might also imply that he knew that the Yondaime was my father, and if you follow how a Hokage thinks, it's easy to arrive at the conclusion that I am his son."

**"And how do you know how a Hokage thinks?"**

"A Hokage is the person that sacrifices himself for his village. How can a Hokage ask another family to sacrifice their son?"

**"Impressive. I'm impressed. Very well then, your mother is Kushina Uzumaki, from the former Uzu no Kuni."**

"I guess that's where I got my surname from. But why… I get it."

**"Get what?"**

"From what I've read, the Yondaime had made a lot of enemies in the First Great Shinobi War. He wasn't known as the Yellow Flash for nothing, you know. Minato-otou-san definitely had a lot of enemies, so Sarutobi-oji-san had to protect me."

**"I see. You certainly are a sharp one, aren't you?"**

"Heh… I guess so."

**"Actually, it's because she is of higher status than him, being a princess of the Uzu no Kuni's royal family. That is, until the country was annexed. So if you were born now your surname should be Namikaze, not Uzumaki. On a more serious note, I'm going to start helping you. I may be a demon, but the behaviour of the stupid dolts is worse.**** I don't feel like dying under the hands of ignorant dolts.****"**

"Err Kyuu-chan, why did you attack Konoha in the first place?"

The Kyuubi blushed slightly at the boy's new nickname for her. **"My family and the rest of what's left of my clan were slaughtered in sleep by Konoha nins. I was in a blind rage, so to speak."**

"I see… I'm sorry."

The Kyuubi smiled, ruffling Naruto's spiky hair. "Hey!"

**"First things first.**** I'm going to unlock your dormant Kekkei Genkai, and give you a Doujutsu, so to speak. Do you know what the term means?"**

"It was covered in one of the scrolls Sarutobi-oji-san had."

**"What do you know about the Sharigan?"**

"The Sharigan allows the user to copy the jutsu other people uses and they grant extraordinary perception!"

**"Go on, what else?"**

"It allows the user to detect and cast Genjutsu!"

**"Very good.****What of its past?"**

"I've heard that it only gained fame by a Madara Uchiha, and it existed after the Byakugan existed."

**"Correct. What you don't know is that a Tengu in my _army_ gave the Uchiha their Sharigan.****This stupid mortal Kujinsaku Uchiha had asked the stupid Tengu to grant him a totally original Doujutsu, because he was envious of the Hyuugas. And…" **She shrugged. **"That happened."**

**"You may have heard of the Uchiha being able to control… well me. This is not true, despite what others may say. Madara caught me off guard and used the information the Tengu unwittingly provided to put me under something like a Genjutsu. However, I broke free quickly. He was gone before I could remove his head from his shoulders. What the foolish Uchihas didn't know was that the Sharigan was a two bladed sword. The Sharigan memorizes, but it never forgets. The person will never forget whatever the person does while having the Sharigan active. However, when the person attains the Mangekyou Sharigan, he is continuously tormented by the memories of him killing his friend. Thus the body has a natural reaction, which is to reject the images, which stems from the eye. Hence, day by day, every single time the Uchiha uses the Mangekyou Sharigan he becomes blinder and blinder. Madara only managed to preserve his eyesight by taking his brother's eyes. Because the eyes were from a foreign source, there is a auto rejection. the two auto rejections cancelled each other out. The Sharigan is truly a cursed bloodline. "**

The Kyuubi laughed scornfully. **"What I am going to ****do,**** is to give you the Anti-Sharigan, so to speak. This will prevent the Sharigan from affecting you at all."**

She laughed and ruffled Naruto's hair. **"You can call it the Kitsugan if you want. I don't really care. Your bloodline limit is just another Doujutsu. For your father, the main function was to prevent inertial from affecting him when he used the Hiraishin. If not for it, he would have vomited the moment he used the Hiraishin. Actually, it is always partially activated. It is what gives you and your father the distinctive sapphire eyes. From what I have analysed, it gives you greater control over the elements you are aligned to, and from what I've seen/read, your father always had an uncanny luck to survive through any dangerous attacks. Of course, if you were the one who jumped into danger, I think that the luck doesn't give a damn about you then." **The Kyuubi chuckled. **"Like situations where you fight me."**

"Are you sure about this?"

**"Being that my life is your life essentially, yes. I don't really want to die under the hands of some stupid villager."**

"Oh yeah, where is the seal? The pipes?"

**"The pipes are under the grass, and the seal is…" **The Kyuubi undid her obi and opened her yukata. Naruto felt his face redden and he covered his eyes. **"Open your eyes, I'm not naked you baka."** She chided playfully.

Naruto opened his eyes and he saw that what the Kyuubi said was true. She wasn't naked, there was a black substance shaped like a swimsuit on the Kyuubi, with the kanji on the naval area. **"This is what the seal has transformed into."**

"Well, this is informative and all but, I think I should wake up before someone kills me in my sleep."

**"No worries, little time passes in here in relation to the real world. When you wake up, don't open your eyes first. I'm also going to enhance your senses, and it's better if you were to get used to the new sensations first, so you don't overwhelm your brain."**

"Wow."

**"I'll also be enhancing your body. You will gain muscles easier and your chakra coils will expand faster, in order to keep in pace with your growth. I'm also altering your tenketsu to be smaller, tougher, and to be able to be shut at will. This gives you the chance to combat against the Jyuuken."**

**"Third, you will be gaining my elemental affinities, which are water, earth and fire."**

"I can understand fire, but earth and water?"

**"Do remember I can raise tsunamis and create earthquakes."**

"Oh… Well, what is my affinity?"

**"It's wind and lightning. It used to be solely wind, but something you touched seemed to have affected your chakra.**** It was something in the Hokage's office, but I can't remember it. It was something long, but I can't remember for the life of me.****"**

"Wow, so you are saying that I have something like the Rinnegan?"

**"Essentially yes.**** You just don't have those concentric circles… That is, you don't have them until your Doujutsu upgrade is complete."**

"What? Why?"

**"The Rinnegan doesn't grant you the ability to use the elements at will. It only appears as a side effect from your DNA. When your eyes are **_**swapped**_**, so to speak, the DNA will **_**detect**_** the changes and make the suitable **_**arrangements**_**."**

"Alright! This is so cool!"

**"I'll also start giving you basic ninja training, and be sure to pester or ask the monkey to allow you to get in the academy faster. I do want you to move out the apartment as fast as possible, and missions are the fastest way. But now, its time you woke up."**

Naruto jerked upwards, taking caution to keep his eyes closed. He could hear the dripping of water, the tapping of foot, the shouts of the overzealous store owner, the slurping of ramen…

He could smell the slightly musty smell of his apartment, and it seriously stunk. He would have to see to it that he cleaned the apartment up.

Jumping down from the bed, he could feel the individual grains of the wood below.

He opened his eyes, having already getting used to his new found senses. His reflection stared back at him from the dirty mirror across. His sapphire blue eyes stared back at him. He walked closer, noticing that there were four white tomoes spinning around.

_**This is my gift to you. **__**The Anti-Sharigan.**_

Naruto jumped. "Where are you?"

_**Inside you, and besides**__** you just have to think to communicate with me.**__** You wouldn't want the villages to think you've gained communication with the FOX.**_

_Alright, so what does it do already?!_

_**It enables you to strip people of the Sharigan by just staring at them and wishing for it to be so. The Sharigan cannot copy your techniques, and their genjutsu has no effect on you. In fact, Mangekyou Sharigan's jutsus, instead of being controlled by the wielder, they will be turned upon the user by you. I'll combine both doujutsu, and you will have eight tomoes in your eyes as a side effect. The 8 tomoes and concentric cirlces will only be visible to those both you and me want them to be able to.**_

For once, Naruto smiled.

* * *

"OJISAN THE MASKED MAN WON'T LET ME IN!" Naruto shouted from behind the ANBU, just a day after he had his first meeting with the Kyuubi. 

Sarutobi opened the doors while the ANBU went off to a corner, with a decidedly depressed mood around him. "Come on in Naruto-kun."

Naruto bounded energetically into the familiar room. "Oji-san! What is the ninja academy I keep hearing the people talk about?"

The Sandaime sighed. Mentally preparing himself for the eventual question, he pulled Naruto into a chair and placed a booklet in front of him. "Read the information booklet and ask me questions about stuff you still don't understand when you are done."

Naruto was silent as his eyes wandered over the booklet, and with the information provided by the Kyuubi he proceeded to use the most cute look he could muster and asked the Sandaime. "Could I go in early, like now? PLEASE?"

Sarutobi sighed. He knew that would happen, as the boy was like his father. Too much like his father in fact. Both of them could teach a stone lessons about being stubborn and fire about hot headedness. "No , Naruto-kun. And not a peep out of you, you're too young and your body is still developing. You're not going there until you hit six."

"But…"

"No."

"Fine!" Naruto huffed. "Also, Kyuu-chan told me that you know who my mother was! Could you tell me who was my okaa-san?"

Sarutobi's eyes narrowed. "Who is that Kyuu-chan you are talking about?"

"Kyuubi-chan!" Naruto squealed. "She's really pretty!"

Sarutobi decided that the information about the Kyuubi's gender and looks were something he didn't really want to know. "Did she try to do anything?"

"No she didn't." Naruto shook his head for emphasis.

"Very well then." Sarutobi took a puff and relaxed in his chair. "You know your father, don't you?"

"You do deserve the title of _The Professor_ ojisan! You caught the minute detail in my sentence!" Naruto smiled.

"It's part of the job Naruto. You'll have to learn to read the fine print." The Sandaime reached down and ruffled Naruto's hair. "Your father was the Yondaime Hokage…"

"Minato Namikaze. This reminds me, why is my surname not Namikaze?" Naruto asked.

Sarutobi chuckled hollowly. "There are two reasons. Your father made a lot of enemies in the war against Iwa. There are some people who wouldn't hesitate to hurt you. To protect you, I couldn't have you take the name of the person with the highest bounty in Iwa, couldn't I? Secondly, tell me, what do you know about the offspring of royal families?"

Naruto blinked once, before replying. "They take the surname of the royal family they come from, no matter if it is from the paternal or maternal side?"

"Correct. You come from the Royal Family of Uzu no Kuni." Sarutobi concluded.

"…"

"Is there anything wrong?" Sarutobi asked worriedly. He was afraid that Naruto had gone into shock.

"AWESOME! I LOVE YOU OJISAN!" Naruto yelled and jumped up, hugging the elderly Hokage in a surprising display of strength. The Kyuubi laughed mentally, chiding Naruto for doubting her.

* * *

Naruto sat down on the old sofa in his house, mediating. He opened his eyes when he smelt the grass again, signifying he was in his mind. 

"Kyuu-chan" Naruto yelled.

**"I've heard what that dumb old man said. For now, I'll just have to train you on my own. Be gone for the next few hours while I plan."**

Naruto exited his mind and jumped out of his apartment, having mastered the wall walking to a certain extent under the tutelage of the Kyuubi. If he failed and fall, he couldn't die. In fact, the Kyuubi told him that it would just make her job easier, as she would be able to plan longer. Unfortunately for him, he didn't manage to detect the sarcasm in her tone.

He walked around the business sector, having nothing to do, before entering a bookstore that didn't chase him out. The owner had been warned by Sarutobi before, and after some interactions he declared that he didn't mind Naruto at all.

Naruto smiled and walked towards the shinobi section. Browsing around, he plucked out a worn book squeezed in between two expensive useless books and saw the price. It was cheap enough, so Naruto made his way to the counter and took out his gama-chan.

"Three thousand ryo, Naruto-kun." The store keeper said kindly.

Naruto pulled the bills out of the wallet and passed the crinkled bills to the old man. "Have a nice day!" The man called after him.

* * *

Naruto squatted down, fanning the small flame. He had decided to cook something but the gas ran out, so he had to settle for a barbecue. A very small mini-barbeque. He held the book over the flames to dry it quickly, seeing that it was slightly damp because he happened to touch it after bath, hoping to read the new book. The pages stuck and he didn't dare to force it open, and thus there he was 

He scowled when the Kyuubi told him that she would be changing his life tonight. As the rabbit he caught was finally cooked, his free hand tapped on the guide book he had just bought. He then proceeded to eat the rabbit before he slept, the book held securely in his arms.

* * *

"WHAT!?!?!?!?" Naruto screamed when he woke up that morning. He glared at the mirror, the eight white tomoes staring back at him. "BLAST YOU, YOU FUCKING FOX!"

* * *

When the headache provided by the very irate and tired fox ceded, Naruto made his way to the training grounds. _Che__… you didn't have to do that to me._

_**Shut up.**_

_Is it the time of the month?_

_**GRAHHH!**_

Naruto decided that he should really stop irritating the Kyuubi before he went crazy from her rampages. Under the careful tutelage of the Kyuubi, he slowly trained and soon, he bought a set of chakra weights and he worked his way slowly. The manual insisted that he could only start at eight for fear of adverse effects to the body, and the Kyuubi had agreed, so he couldn't do anything but to agree with them.

* * *

End of Chapter One.

A/N : Some people were confused by Naruto's age. Hopefully it clears up now, being that I've added some more details. At the end of the chapter, he is 4 years old, just to clarify. The eight tomoe was more of me taking the number that popped into my head first. And being that I typed this chapter during Chinese New Year (HAH!), you get the story.

Naruto will not be able to save any Uchihas. Did you even think he, at this stage, will be able to even harm Itachi and Madara?! No frikkin way. Of course, if there are any plausible and good reasons why the/some Uchiha should survive, I can just pull the "they were on a mission, hence they didn't die" jutsu.

The Kitsugan has the functions/abilities stated below.

1) Disables the Sharigan from copying the wielder's techniques.

2) Turns control of Mangekyou Sharigan's technique to the wielder, not to the Uchiha/Hatake.

3) Grants the wielder the ability to remove Sharigans.

4) Looks cool. P

Naruto's kekkei genkai will be explored furthur in other chapters...

(PS : For those that doesn't, 8 is auspicious as it's pronunciation sounds similar to "fa", which means "to strike it rich".)

_(PS 2 : Fanfiction screws up my formatting and refuses to save the correct one, so if something looks bad or out of place, not my fault..-)_

* * *

Poll Time! 

Vote for your favourite female characters to end up with Naruto! Haku's already in, so don't bother voting for her.

1) Temari

2) Hana

3) Hinata

4) Ino

5) Sakura (...)

6) Tayuya

7) Tsunade (I'll try. No promises.)

8) Shizune

9) Kurenai (Personal preference. XD)

10) Anko (Same as Tsunade.)

11) Yuugao (Same as Tsunade or Anko)

12) Kin

13) Others (State the person you want.)

Each person has 2 votes, and both cannot go to the same character...


	4. Chapter Two : Growing Up

Chapter Two : Growing Up

* * *

A series of loud ring resonated around the house, and the offending sound of a sleeper's worst enemy made it into his ears loudly. A loud groan came from a mop of blonde hair, and the yellow porcupine snuggled even deeper into his stiff synthetic pillow. Trying to crawl further into his fuuton, the irritated blond lashed out wildly.

Naruto groaned as he woke up. The offending clock met his fist and crashed into the wall metres away. Whatever salvageable parts would be salvaged and used to repair or used to remake another clock. The rest would be treated to the taste of a particularly powerful Katon or Raiton jutsu.

Groaning, the blonde rubbed his eyes sorely. When he became the Hokage, the people would respect him, and perhaps he could pass a law banning those offending clocks…

Glaring at the set of spare clocks he had rebuilt, his eyes widened as he took in the time. _Shit! I'm going to be late for my first day! I better run!_

With practised efficiency, he pulled on a set of black underclothes and wore his black tactical vest. Quickly strapping on his kunai and shuriken pouches, he took the chance to adjust the weights on his hands and feet, and he increased the weight on the bracers on both wrists and ankles. Quickly wrapping the bandages around his feet, he slipped on his reinforced shinobi sandals. He wore his shin and wrist guards, which were made out of blackened tungsten carbide. His gloves had a piece of metal on the back, also made of tungsten carbide, and the gloves were fingerless. Securing his kunai and shuriken pouches on his belt and thigh, he grabbed his rubber band and tied the loose hair into a small ponytail. He quickly tied a band of cloth on his forehead to keep out his hair from his eyes, and using Kage Bushins, he tidied up the apartment and sent two to heat up some instant ramen and he grabbed the two hot cups and held the pair of disposable chopsticks with his mouth. Leaving behind two Kage Bushins to salvage what they could of the clock, he locked the door behind of him and rushed to the academy, running as fast as his weights and legs would allow, deftly scaling the wall in front of him, taking the most direct route to the academy.

* * *

A quiet little girl dressed in a simple white silk kimono nervously pressing her index fingers together. She was standing in front of Konohagakure no Sato's disputably most powerful and most prestigious clan's main gate. In her hands were a home made bento and a couple of school supplies. To an ignorant observer, they would never guess that the girl was actually the heir to such a proud clan. Her head was bent down, her bangs obscuring her facial features and her shoulders were slumped down, a sign of timidity. She often turned her head left and right, as though waiting for someone. 

Sighing, the girl seemed to be about to pick herself up and walk to the academy herself. With the Byakugan, she surely could find her way there… could she?

The train of thought was rudely interrupted by a black figure blurring past her and she could feel something trip on her feet. "AHH!"

Naruto found himself kissing the floor and his chest smarted. Picking himself up and dusting his gear, he turned to face the person that he had tripped on.

In her fluster, the girl had dropped her bag and as she bent to pick it up, she saw a pair of sandaled feet in front of her. "Ano… I apo..apologize."

"It was my fault, actually. I should have watched where I was going." Naruto sheepishly rubbed the back of his head. "There's no need for you to apologize."

Hinata blushed as she stared at the blonde's bright blue eyes. They sparked with emotions, a sharp contrast to her own. She was drawn to those cerulean orbs. After a short while, she blushed badly, and she stuttered a reply. "I… I shouldn't h-have been b-blocking your-r way…"

Naruto's brows furred. The girl in front of him sure had a serious bout of inferiority complex. What were the Hyuuga doing? How could they train their heir into such a timid person? Seriously, what were they thinking? "It's not your fault." He said in a deciding tone. "Besides, I never got your name."

If it was possible, the girl seemed to withdraw into her shell even more. "H-Hyuuga H-Hinata…"

"I'm Naruto Uzumaki." Naruto smiled gently. "So Hyuuga-san, are you going to the academy?"

"She was just about to leave for the academy, Uzuwuki-san." Naruto turned around slowly, having long before sensing the approaching footsteps of the Chuunin. "Did you forget again, Kurenai-chan? My surname is UzuMAki." Naruto said crossly. Seriously, how many times must that ruby eyed Chuunin get his name wrong?! Since Sarutobi introduced him to some shinobi and kunoichi so he could pick his gear well, the pretty Chuunin seemed to make it her mission to misspell his name at every opportunity she got.

The slender raven haired Chuunin blinked her red eyes. "So you did. I apologize, Naruto-_chan_." Hinata tried to stifle a giggle that threatened to make the way out of her mouth. Naruto glared half heartedly at his careless Chuunin friend, before turning to smile at Hinata, which earned him a bad blush from said girl. The shy Hyuuga blushed for being caught in such close proximity with a boy. "A-Ano…" She stuttered, trying to explain herself to Kurenai.

Naruto took the chance to wolf down his set of cup noodles. Quickly banishing them with a small Katon Jutsu, he saw that Hinata and Kurenai were chatting.

"Come on, Naruto-kun, Hinata-sama, we should be making our way there now." Kurenai said. "We wouldn't want to be late for the first day, wouldn't you? Bad impression and all that..."

As Naruto blinked once before rushing on his way again, Kurenai took the chance to observe her charge. She had known Naruto for quite some time, Naruto having barged into the Hokage's office once when she was reporting to the Sandaime Hokage rather rudely, startling her in the process. She could see a small crush start to form in her charge, from the blush that had formed and the even pronounced stutter and slurring of words. _At least it's towards Naruto-kun, not some other obnoxious boy... Well, at least Naruto-kun's got over his rudeness..._

"FUCK!"

_Maybe not._

* * *

As the classroom gradually filled up with the aspiring shinobi, Iruka Umino took the chance to observe his new students. He was able to identify a fair amount of children from Konoha's clans. There was the Aburame, silent like the rest of his clansmen, keeping to themselves most of the time. The Akimichi heir was munching on a packet of chips as per usual, looking at the other children with uncertainty in his eyes. The Nara was napping like how the rest of Konoha's laziest clan behaved. There was a unusually brash and loud Inuzuka and his ninken attempting to impress the rest yet failing badly, and the unusually quiet Hyuuga girl seemed to be clutching her bag to her chest like a float while in a sea storm. There was the usual stoic Uchiha with the Haruno and Yamanaka girl attempting to attract his attention. Iruka resisted the temptation to chuckle when the sole response they had was a half hearted "Hn." The boy was too much like the rest of his clan, and Iruka couldn't forget how relieved he felt when the Uchihas he were taking the previous years left. 

The door slid open and the blonde he was expecting to have an explosive entrance quietly filed to his seat. Glad to see that the blonde wasn't acting loud (for once), Iruka cleared his throat in a futile attempt to get their attention. Only the Hyuuga and Naruto seemed to pay attention, so he had to revert to his time proven skill.

"BE QUIET!" Iruka yelled, lacing his vocal chords with chakra to make his voice louder.

When the class became silent, Iruka introduced himself. "My name is Iruka Umino. You will be addressing me as Iruka-sensei while you are here."

As Iruka began his customary introductory speech, he noticed his student's attention wandering all over the place. Even Naruto, who could be counted to pay attention in this sort of things was busy cleaning his nails thoroughly. Iruka sighed. Maybe he should have attempted to shorten the speech?

"Alright, when I call you name, please come up here and introduce yourself."

This got their attention, and as Iruka slowly went down the name list, he scribbled some comments about his students. The Aburame needed to open himself more, and he really should do something about the crippling self esteem of the Hyuuga. The Nara… The Nara actually slept halfway while introducing himself. Iruka shook his head as the Akimichi helped his sleeping friend back to his seat.

"Naruto Uzumaki!"

Mentally preparing himself for a particularly loud introduction, Iruka was surprised when the usually obnoxious boy introduce himself normally. _Well, Naruto-kun never fails to surprise…_

* * *

Iruka was severely disheartened when after his speech, only Naruto seemed to absorb anything at all. He sighed… _To think I'm stuck with them for the next SIX years…_

"Alright, its time for the split training. Will the boys form a row and follow me? The girls, please wait here till your sensei arrives." Iruka quickly dashed to unlock the door, and the boys trooped out of the room.

* * *

As Naruto wolfed down his dinner, he couldn't help but scoff at what he was taught. He knew those stuff ages ago, but he had to maintain the façade of him being a ridiculously incompetent shinobi so those foolish civilians would lay off him. Although he knew Iruka suspected that he was holding back, Iruka had nothing to back up his claims so Naruto's secret was still safe. 

He snorted particularly hard when he remembered about the Inuzuka's prank… That dog boy had super glued Iruka to his chair. They'd never got the end of it. He hacked and coughed when the particularly hard snort had caused noodles to go up his nose…

"DAMN YOU KIBA!"

* * *

End of Chapter Two. 

A/N : I'll let the poll run till one month later, or I reach chapter 10. Depends on which comes first.

Current Status.

1) Temari

2) Hana - 1

3) Hinata

4) Ino

5) Sakura

6) Tayuya

7) Tsunade

8) Shizune

9) Kurenai

10) Anko

11) Yuugao

12) Kin

13) Others (State the person you want.)

14) Kyuubi (Suggested.) - 1

Short Chapter, basic coverage only.


	5. Chapter Three : Training Days

Chapter Three : Training Days.

* * *

As the clocks mourned the loss of another comrade, Naruto hopped out of bed excitedly. He was eight today, and he could start on the manual! They Kyuubi had uttered her approval, and he had nothing to occupy this time. It was Sunday, and there was no academy, and the Kyuubi had most graciously allowed him to slack off training for the day so he could study the manual.

Hopping out of bed quickly, he moved to his sink and washed his face and brushed his teeth. Changing into a comfortable casual outfit, he cooked his omelette and wolfed it down quickly, before adding his the cloth he intended to use to replace the default one that came with his hitai ate-to-be to his attire. Stuffing his manual in a pouch attached to his casual outfit, he jumped out of the window, before attaching himself to the wall and he proceeded to walk down.

He hopped off and ran quickly, reaching a desolate area where no one usually went. After doing some basic exercises, he rushed to the stream to do his daily dosage of water walking. When he was done, he took out the book and sat down to read.

_**-Book Read no Jutsu!-**_

_**I leave this manual as a way to pass on my legacy long after my death. In this book is the complete manuscript of 'Nine Suns and Golden Armour', 'Universal Grand Shift', 'Taiji Fist Style', 'Taiji Sword Style', '7 Harm Fists', '18 Dragon Subduing **__**Palms' and**__** 'Art of Nine Negations'.**_

_**There are a few rules you must abide by as a martial artist. Being a martial artist is both **__**a**__** occupation and a way of life. We hold honour in the highest regard, as evident by the phrase we often use, 'Death before dishonour'. We grow stronger to protect, not to harm. We grow stronger to protect those precious to us, and defend the weak. **_

_**We must abide strictly by a few rules.**_

_**1. We must honour our promises when we make them.**_

_**2. We must protect the weak and our precious people.**_

_**3. We must not injure the civilians in spite.**_

_**-Kai!-**_

Naruto thumbed the page while reading. _Honour our promises? Well, it seems that I shouldn't be so lose with my mouth... heh heh heh. So I guess I'll have to be the Hokage, then. Troublesome...  
_

_**In my time in the world, I have picked up bits of advice that deserve to be imparted.**_

_**1. Always remain calm and collected. Anger dulls the senses and causes a person to lose control of **__**himself. This results in the warrior fights in a lower efficiency than usual. Anger is to be avoided. The mastery of the art of 'Nine Suns and Golden Armour' will grant the usual a higher control over his emotions, but particular scenes can evoke this dangerous emotion. Be cautious. **_

___**2. Never underestimate your opponent. Always treat the person with respect and see him as **__**a**__** equal. Overconfidence and pride often comes before a fall. The other person may just be hiding his true talent. One must be able to see through the web of lies others forge. **_

___**3. Never irritate a girl. They are rather dangerous when angered. **_

Naruto smiled. The advice was good, so he made sure to follow them. Especially the third point.He chuckled when his Kage Bushins dispelled. The information they sent him was that the pink haired Haruno was a veritable monster when angered.

Naruto continued reading, hitting the first part, which was the part consisting of 'Nine Suns and Golden Armour.' He felt disheartened when he saw that he would have to spend five long years training on this particular part, but he steeled his resolve. Planning quickly, he came up with a decent plan with the Kyuubi's help. He would remain at home to study and master the art, the Kyuubi helping when needed, and a bunch of Kage Bushins should be able to cover for him. If Sakura hit him, he'll just have the spare Kage Bushins appear and act like she only hit a Bushin, or because of the smoke, he could act like he used the Kawarimi.

___**Eh kid?**_

___What Kyuu-chan?_

___**Wake me when you need me. I'll be going to sleep for the next few years. I'm rather exhausted doing all that, and I'm feeling rather lazy.**_

___Alright!_

The only response he got was a distant snoring…

* * *

Naruto whined when the clones revealed that the genin exams were today. The only thing that went his way was that his Kage Bushins served their purpose well, all of them not having enough chakra to show off, and his façade of an idiot never fell. He had copped himself in his apartment, studying non stop. Everything from cooking to buying groceries were done by Kage Bushins. Although he did spare a few moments to bathe and eat, he spent the rest of the time studying the manual, except when he had to sleep. He cracked his neck as he finished the final passage of the art. Quickly gathering his stuff and gear as the manual insisted that for his own safety, he shouldn't read the other parts before he had passed the final barrier. Too bad for him, the strongest bag he got with re-inforced seals were still useless and exploded when he tried to recreate the author's situation. 

___"Naruto Uzumaki!"_

Naruto stood, moving to the door and opened it, as the Uchiha walked past him, hitai ate clutched firmly in hand and giving him a condensing smile. Naruto snarled before walking into the room. Maybe attending class would be better than seeing the Uchiha's attitude.

There was Maito Gai, who had volunteered himself enthusiastically as the examiner for the Taijutsu section. Naruto groaned in frustration as the man sprouted stuff about 'youth' and all that rubbish. Quickly moving through the basic kata for the Academy style, Gai gave him a thumbs up and passed him, directing him to another room.

Kurenai was there, being the examiner for the Genjutsu section. She had been newly promoted, and this was her last year as an examiner. That, and her new rank made her even more insufferable (to Naruto.). She seemed to mistake his name even more badly from before, calling him Ukumuku once. He growled at her as she made fun of him once again.

"Uzimiki-san?"

"Damn it Kurenai-chan, it's UZUMAKI!" Naruto screamed in frustration.

"Of course it is, Naruto-_chan_." She replied nonchalantly.

"You'll just have to break out of the Genjutsu I'm going to put you in, and you pass. The faster you realise you are in a genjutsu, the higher marks you get." She said, reading off from the scroll placed in front of her. "Alright, you may begin. I'll not tell you when I'll pull the wool over your eyes."

Naruto groaned as Kurenai chuckled at her crudely made joke. "Kai!"Naruto snarled.

"You pass." Kurenai said. "I had doubts considering that you were not attending your lessons, instead relying on Kage Bushins, but I'm still glad that SOMETHING got in that thick skull of yours." She rapped her knuckles on his head for emphasis, before messing up his untameable hair.

"How did you know about the Kage Bushins...?"

"Oh please, I'm not a Jounin for nothing."

"Whatever."

"Oh yes, what brand of shampoo do you use? Your hair's so silky..."

"Damn it Kurenai-chan! Pay attention to the job you are supposed to be doing!" Naruto yelled.

"Whatever."

Snarling as he walked out of the room, Naruto followed the signs posted on the wall, and opened the door when he reached the final examination room. Rapping on the door, he entered when he had his permission.

"Alright Uzumaki-san, please demonstrate the Bushin Jutsu, the Kawarimi Jutsu, and the Henge Jutsu." Mizuki spoke.

Naruto quickly thought of a plan to both pass and have a little fun (READ : screw) with his sensei. Yelling and forming handseals in quick succession, the room was covered in light smoke. "Bushin no Jutsu! Henge no Jutsu! Kawarimi no Jutsu!"

When the smoke cleared, Iruka was mildly intrigued when he found the Sandaime and the Yondaime seated behind the desk, hands on the clipboard Iruka and Mizuki were holding formerly. The Sandaime and Yondaime grinned at each other rather stupidly, although the stupid grin looked like it belonged on the Yondaime's face.

"Naruto, you passed. Now stop playing around! Be serious for once!" Iruka chided. The Sandaime disappeared in a plume of smoke and the Yondaime changed into Naruto. Bounding with glee, Naruto picked up his hitai ate and walked out of the room…

* * *

Naruto was mildly surprised when he saw Mizuki sprinting across the roofs, a large scroll in his hands. Deciding that it would be nice to catch a breath of fresh air, Naruto quickly attached the customized tungsten carbide hitai ate plate to a band of black cloth. Tying his hitai ate like how he saw the Yondaime did, Naruto opened his window and disappeared in a burst of speed. 

"Mizuki-sensei, what are you doing?" Naruto asked, trailing by Mizuki's side, easily catching up with the Chuunin.

Mizuki snarled. "Shut up you Kyuubi! I had enough of you! DIE!"

Naruto easily caught the fuma shuriken and sent it back, making Mizuki drop to the floor to avoid the speeding projectile rather clumsily. What did he expect me to do? Faint because I heard him expose the secret? Baka…

Naruto stomped on the traitor's head hard, knocking the poor man out painfully. The ANBU behind him thanked him for his aid before carting off the unconscious Mizuki to possibly Ibiki or Anko. _Poor fool, I've already read the entire scroll once!_ Chuckling with the thought that he had one upped most of the village, Naruto returned to his apartment to prepare for the next day.

* * *

Naruto sat in the classroom, head slumped on the table asleep. Sasuke was seated next to him, brooding as usual. The classroom's door slammed open as two noisy figures made their entrance. 

"I got here first Ino-pig!"

"No you didn't forehead!"

"I did!"

"Didn't!"

"Did!"

"Didn't!"

"Did!"

"Didn't!"

"You lie most viciously Ino-pig!"

"Hah! Like you're any better big forehead!"

"You have no honour! Shame to you Ino-pig!"

It continued for a minute till the girls noticed Sasuke. They disappeared in a gust of dust, surprising Naruto as he had never seen them moved so fast before.

"C-could I seat next to you Sasuke-kun?" Both girls squealed, before glaring at each other.

"I asked him first Ino-pig!"

"No you didn't forehead!"

"Did too!"

"Didn't!"

"Did too!"

"Didn't!"

"Did too!"

"Didn't!"

"Did too!"

"Didn't!"

"Did too!"

"Didn't!"

(A/N : As you can tell I'm really having fun making both fan girls look like idiots…)

The quarrel continued for a minute until both girls noticed Naruto's existence. "Get out of MY seat dobe!" Naruto woke when he was rudely pushed off. Or rather, the girls tried to. They couldn't push him off because of the weights he had were too much for them to over power. "You're ridiculously heavy Naruto! Cut down on the food!" Ino yelled.

Naruto raised an eyebrow and resumed his sleep. "PAY ATTENTION TO ME DOBE!" Ino screamed. "GET OFF MY SEAT!"

"It's MY seat Ino-pig! Stop spreading your lies!"

"No it's mine!"

"No it's not yours!"

"It's mine." Naruto said.

"SHUT UP!" Both of them glared at him.

"It's my seat Ino-pig!"

"Naruto whose seat is this? It's definitely mine, not forehead's right?!"

Naruto's snore was her sole answer.

It was the exact moment Iruka walked in. "SHUT UP AND SEAT DOWN!" Iruka screamed, sighing mentally. At last, he would be getting rid of the two fangirls.

* * *

Sarutobi could only chuckle when he saw the sight. There were a group of Jounins gathered around him looking at their new students. He remembered how the resident Genjutsu mistress had all but ordered him to place the Hyuuga heir on her team. And the Uchiha… there was no need to say that the council was being a prick and a extremely uncomfortable pain in the posterior. Not only demanding that the Sharigan no Kakashi, the Kopi nin, be taken off active duty and becoming the Uchiha's sensei, they had the guts to attempt to throw Naruto into some unknown team with others of bad scores. 

_Do me and your parents proud, Naruto-kun._ Thought the Sandaime, as he saw Kakashi Hatake peering over Kurenai's shoulder. The Sandaime wasn't sure if the pervert was trying to look at his students or attempt to look at Kurenai's rather large assets for her age. His thoughts were answered by Kakashi Hatake's body being propelled out of the room by the window, courtesy of a certain enraged Jounin. _Sigh, I guess I'll have to replace the window AGAIN._

"PERVERT!" She shrieked.

* * *

___Three man team?_ It was the collective thoughts of all the genin in the room. 

Naruto and Sasuke moaned at the same time._As long as it's not some fan girls and Sasuke…_

___Three men teams?__ They'll only slow me down._

Meanwhile, Sakura Haruno and Ino Yamanaka were both glaring at each other.

"I'll be in Sasuke-kun's team! "

"NO! I'll be the one!"

"It'll be me!"

"It'll never be you, forehead! Sasuke-kun deserves someone with battle talent, unlike book smarts!"

"Well, it's better than a fat girl!"_**Take that Ino-pig! Shannaro!**_

"It's better than a girl who cannot fight! What are you going to do, bore the enemy to death, forehead?!"

"It's better than you. What are you going to do, sit on them, piggy?!"

"Well, at least they will die in peace! They wouldn't have to see your ugly mug before they die!"

"You!"

"You!"

It was then the classroom quietened down. Apparently Kiba had hopped on Sasuke's table, glaring at the Uchiha. It was then the two squabbling girls accidentally knocked Kiba towards Sasuke... Kiba, who had opened his mouth to yell and the Uchiha who was about to take a swig from his bottle ended up having a open-mouthed kiss.

Result? Kiba was badly bruised, while the girls fawned over Sasuke even more than before.

"SHUT UP!" Iruka and Naruto yelled in frustration, their veins throbbing comically.

"As I was saying, you will be split into three man teams. You will be assigned a Jounin instructor until you have become Chuunin or Jounins." Iruka paused. "Now, Team one will…"

Naruto zoned out as Ino and Sakura resumed their bickering with a vengeance.

"Team Seven, Naruto Uzumaki-" Naruto's head perked upwards. "Sasuke Uchiha-" A long moan of 'nooooo' was issued from Naruto. "And lastly, Sakura Haruno." Sakura leapt upwards in happiness and joy while Naruto moaned even harder. Sasuke just took it in with a slight hint of annoyance, as evident in his tone when he Hn-ed a reply.

"Your Jounin instructor will be Kakashi Hatake."

"WHAT?! NOT THAT PERVERT!" Naruto yelled. At the Hokage Tower, Kakashi cringed at the thought of being stuck with the rather anti-hentai blonde.

"Iruka sensei! I think you've made a mistake! It should be me not forehead girl!" Ino yelled desperately.

"True love conquers all! Ka-ching!" Unfortunately for Sakura, she happened to voice that comment out and all of the gathered genins gave her a cold look. Ino had to be restrained by her friends from strangling the pink haired girl while Iruka sighed at the situation, before continuing.

Naruto had a decidedly depressed mood as he sat on his chair. Shikamaru muttered a "Troublesome…" before going back to sleep.

When Iruka had finished, Naruto couldn't hold in his frustration and yelled. "Why do I have to be with the guy-with-a-stick-up-my-ass Uchiha Iruka-sensei?!"

"Well Naruto, we had to create a balanced group. You have talent in Taijutsu, while Sasuke has his Ninjutsu. Sakura has potential for Genjutsu, and Sasuke was the rookie of the year. You had one of the worst overall scores, so…" Iruka shrugged while there was snickers from the class. "Stupid dobe!" Kiba laughed. "May I inform you that Naruto did better than you?" Iruka said. "Not to mention he scored the best in the final test." That silenced the rest.

Naruto grumbled. Maybe going to school would have been more worth it than being stuck with the Uchiha! Just my luck…

"Just don't get in my way, dobe." Sneered Sasuke, who seemed to refuse to degrade himself to look at the dobe in the eye.

"What did you say?" Naruto snarled, unleashing his killing intent. Iruka froze in place when he felt it. So… so strong!

"H-hard of h-hearing?" Sasuke stuttered, refusing to admit that he had been frightened by Naruto's killing intent.

A few braver members of the class snickered, but they were silenced with a glare from Naruto. Naruto's snarled.

"Sit down Naruto-baka!" Sakura ordered, her fanatical devotion for Sasuke tiding her over Naruto's ferocity.

"You need a girl to stand up for you, Sasuke? This is really sad." Naruto said softly, his tone dripping with venom. "I didn't know the Uchiha were pansies. Chicken wuss. I guess you really are a chicken, with the crown of a rooster on your head." He hissed.

Iruka sighed as he took in the sight. If this is any indication, Kakashi is doomed.

"You are dismissed for lunch. Report back in one hour!"

With that, the genins filed out of the room.

* * *

Three hours after they had arrived back in the classroom, Kakashi found himself staring into a patch of no-man's land. Naruto was glaring at Sasuke, who was trying his hardest to glare back. Sakura was clucking around like a mother hen, seemingly unaffected by Naruto's killing intent. 

"My first impression of you guys… You guys are certainly interesting. Meet me on the roof." Kakashi said, as he used shushin to get out of the room.

When he reached the roof, he found Naruto already waiting there for him._Fast!_ Kakashi thought.

When they all had gathered, Kakashi seated himself on the edge, his right hand supporting his chin as he settled into a thinker's position, his eye lazily staring at the genin. "Alright, how about we begin with a introduction."

"What do you want to know?" Sakura asked.

"How about your likes, dislikes, hobbies, dreams for the future and stuff like that?" Kakashi shrugged.

"How about you begin first sensei?" Sakura asked. "You look suspicious."

Kakashi raised his eyebrow at the Haruno's last comment. "Alright alright. My name is Kakashi Hatake, I have no desire to tell you about my likes and dislikes. Dreams for the future? Hnn… And I have a lot of hobbies."

"And you happen to be a pervert, Ero-sensei." Naruto added.

"No dissing the book, Naruto-chan." Kakashi wagged his finger for emphasis. "No dissing THE book."

"So all we learnt was your name?" Sakura asked indignantly.

"And his perverted ways." Naruto added helpfully.

"Why don't you start first pinky?" Kakashi said.

"I am Sakura Haruno, I like…" She looked at Sasuke and giggled. "I dislike Ino-pig and Naruto-baka! Dreams for the future?" She looked at Sasuke again and squealed. "Hobbies?" She looked at Sasuke for the third time.

___A stalker.__ Of all things, Hokage-sama had to give me a stalker. _Kakashi cringed mentally. _I'll have a load of work on my hands, assuming that they pass. Of course, with the council, the Uchiha has a de facto pass already._

"Duck butt."

"My name is Sasuke Uchiha. I like nothing and I dislike a lot of things. My hobbies… training. My dream is to kill a certain man and resurrect my clan." Sasuke grunted.

"You can start by having a girlfriend, stupid." Naruto interrupted. "What are you, gay?!"

___I thought so_. Kakashi thought grimly._Itachi, what have you done?_

Sasuke-kun's so cool! Sakura squealed in delight.

"And you, blonde-baka." Kakashi said.

"No dissing sensei's son, ero-sensei!" Naruto scolded. "My name is Naruto Uzumaki, I like ramen, Konoha and training, I dislike people like Sasuke. ("NA-RU-TOO!" Sakura yelled.) I also dislike people that cannot see a person for their true self. Hobbies? Training, I guess. Dreams for the future? The revival of my clan, become the Hokage and to skin a certain snake, before dropping it in a pot of boiling oil."

Kakashi sighed. ___Nothing new.__ He's still obsessed over __Orochimaru's__ death for some reason for another. At least he stopped talking about ramen…_

"I forgot, I also like ramen!" Naruto added.

___Never mind_. Thought Kakashi.

"Alright, that's enough of that. We'll start our duties tomorrow." Kakashi said.

"Duties! What kind of duties?!" Sakura squealed._I'll be able to prove myself to Sasuke-kun, and he will fall in love with me! Then we'll have the classic fairy tale ending without Naruto-baka! Sasuke-kun will sweep me up in his arms and... _She giggled.

"But first, we are going to do something with the four of us." Kakashi said.

"What? What?" Sakura asked.

"Survival training." Kakashi answered briefly.

Naruto snorted while Sakura opened her mouth again. "Training? You mean our duty is to train? We already did plenty of training in the academy…"

"I'm your opponent, but this is no normal training…" Kakashi said. "Then what is it?!" Sakura demanded.

Her answer was a chuckle from the new sensei. "What is so funny?!"_**We'll bash him up! Shannaro!**_

"No… well, it's just that, when I tell you this, you guys are going to flip."

"Flip?" Asked Sakura. "Huh?"

Kakashi leaned over with a dead serious look. "Out of the 27 that passed, only 9 are going to become true genins. The rest will be sent back to the academy. This will be a super difficult exam with a failure rate of over 66.66!"

The only sign he could see from Naruto and Sasuke was a slight twitch, nothing much surprising. Sakura was about to blow up, judging from the redness of her face. Kakashi chuckled again.

"See? I knew you guys were going to flip." Kakashi gave a hollow laugh.

"WHAT?! What the hell?! What is the point of the Genin exams then?! What was the whole bloody point?!" Sakura screamed.

"It was only to separate those that stand a chance from those that cannot." Kakashi said. "Anyway, you all will be graded on the field, so bring all your ninja tools tomorrow. Also, don't eat breakfast, or you'll vomit."

___Bah. _Sasuke thought.___ This is troublesome. Those two idiots better don't hold me down.  
_

___I'll pass this and prove myself in front of Sasuke-kun! _Sakura thought. ___Then he'll pick me over Ino-pig! _She squealed rather loudly.

___This is stupid_. Naruto thought_. __Never mind._

"The details can be read in this print out. Be at training grounds seven tomorrow at seven. Don't be late. You are dismissed."

With that, Kakashi disappeared in a plume of smoke._This is __stupid,__ Kakashi has no common sense at all! _Naruto thought._Like hell am I not __eating MY breakfast, thank you very much._

* * *

-The next day…- 

"Hey guys!" Kakashi waved enthusiastically to his genins. "Good morning to you!"

"YOU'RE LATE FOR THREE HOURS!" Sakura screeched.

Leading them to a clearing, Kakashi set an alarm on a tree stump. "It's set for noon, so you have two hours to get a bell from me. There are two bells, so one person will definitely fail. The person who doesn't have a bell also gets tied to these posts and I will eat in front of him."

___So that's why he asked us not to eat breakfast…_ Sasuke and Sakura thought.

___Heh __heh__…_ Naruto thought sheepishly.

"You ate, didn't you, Naruto?" Kakashi wagged a finger at him.

"It wasn't an order, so I don't really have to listen to you." Naruto retorted.

___Why didn't I think of that?! To think I was on a diet! I'll die of hunger if I don't get a bell! _Sakura thought urgently.

"Come at me with the intention to kill, or you will fail badly. Your time starts… now!"

Observing his team, he saw Sakura and Sasuke disappear._Good. Even though I still can sense them, they are hidden from sight… Naruto-daibaka however…_(Dai Great/big, Baka idiot. Daibaka [My invention, hehe. big idiot.)

"You me, fair and square, one on one right now!" Naruto yelled. "Let's go!"

"You're weird…" Kakashi deadpanned.

"The only thing weird here is Sasuke!" Naruto retorted intelligently.

With that, Naruto rushed the man_. __Fast!_ Kakashi thought._He hits ridiculously hard too!_

A plume of smoke later, a log flew through the smoke and crashed into the tree._Damned Kawarimi!_ Naruto screamed mentally._Where is he?!_

"Shinobi Battle Style : Part One." Kakashi said, standing behind Naruto. "Taijutsu."

Kakashi placed a hand in his pouch._He said Taijutsu, but why is he reaching for a weapon?_ Sasuke pondered.

Pulling out a book, Kakashi knelt down to read. "Ero-sensei, do you want me to burn your book down?" Naruto threatened.

"Why? I just want to know what happens next. Don't worry, with your skill, this wouldn't affect me at all!"

That was a unwise thing to say. Naruto snarled as he unleashed his Qi. "YOU'RE DEAD." Naruto snarled, voice dripping with venom.

Dashing forward, Naruto used what he had learnt in the past five years, easily overpowering his sensei in Taijutsu._This is impossible! His strikes are faster and stronger than __Gai's!_

"I'LL LET YOU HAVE A TASTE OF YOUR OWN MEDICINE!_ KONOHAGAKURE FURUI TAIJUTSU NO OUGI :_ SENNEN GOROSHI!"

Kakashi's eyes widened when he felt four fingers rudely shoved up his nether regions. Streaking upwards with a scream of pain, he failed to notice that his bells were gone.

"Stupid idiot."

* * *

The bell rang as Kakashi finished pulling Sasuke beneath the earth. "I guess that you're ahead of the rest, eh?" He chucked at his own bad pun. "After all, exposed nails have to be hammered back in. Well, stop soiling yourself." 

Kakashi flicked the bells attached to his belt teasingly. Kakashi had recovered his bells from the blonde as quickly as the blonde had taken it from him, by using a quick Kawarimi.

* * *

"Sakura, because you were the only one not to get a bell, you shall be the one tied to the post!" Kakashi said enthusiastically when all genins were gathered. 

"Nooooo…"_**I'll bash you up later! Shannaro! **_

"The good news is, none of you have to go back to the academy!" Kakashi said happily.

I passed by fainting? ___**Shannaro! Love conquers all!**_ Sakura thought.

"The bad news is, you all should quit as ninjas!" Kakashi said, still in the happy tone.

"QUIT?! WHAT DO YOU MEAN?!" Sakura screamed. "We didn't manage to get the bells, but why do we have to quit?!"

"Because… all of you are merely punks. Punks that do not deserve to become ninjas." Kakashi answered coldly.

Sasuke gritted his teeth and charged Kakashi, only for Kakashi to push him down on the floor and hold a kunai to his neck.

"Sakura! Kill Naruto or Sasuke dies!" Kakashi screamed.

"What?!" Sakura said, her brain slipping from the onslaught of emotions. "HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO KILL HIM WHEN I'M ALL TIED UP?!" She retorted intelligently.

"You see what I mean?" Kakashi asked as he stood up and kicked the Uchiha to his team, ignoring Sakura's outburst. "You are all just punks… The true purpose of the test…"

"Was teamwork." Naruto said, realisation in his eyes. "There was only two bells, and it was to serve as the catalyst to break up our team. If only 9 would pass, and other sensei did the same test, there would either be eight or ten passes… We were supposed to put aside our differences and work together…"

"A good analysis, Naruto, but you were late by two hours." Kakashi said. "A Shinobi's individual ability may be important, but the sole reason why Konohagakure no Sato stands proudly till today was because of teamwork. A team of rookie genins, working together can take down a rookie Jounin. A team of Chuunin working together can take down a member of the ANBU. A team of Jounin, the Kage. Do you get what I mean?"

"Strength in numbers and unity." Naruto said numbly. How could he have been so stupid?!

"Correct. Naruto, you were running around by yourself. Although I admit you did get the bells, you couldn't secure them. Sakura, you only looked at Sasuke, ignoring Naruto who was in front of you all the time. Sasuke, you ran about like Naruto, except that you were weaker than him."

Kakashi knelt down in front of the memorial stone. "My best friend's name is carved here because of disunity…" The atmosphere became sombre and saddening. Kakashi's head tilted towards them, and he spoke. "Listen up. I'll give you all one last chance after lunch. But it'll be even harder. Those who still wish to continue can stay and eat. But don't give any food to Sakura."

"Huh?" Sasuke asked.

"It's her punishment for not attempting to do anything at all. The shinobi world is cruel. It is unfeeling. Kunoichi like her are better off dead. If any of you give her anything to eat, you fail. I am the rules here. Is that clear?"

"Hai!" Naruto yelled.

"I've something to do. I'll be back by one." With that, Kakashi disappeared from sight.

Sakura was about to put on a mask of indifference when her stomach rebelled and growled. To her surprise, Naruto slit apart her bonds and gave her his bento. "Here. I ate breakfast and you guys didn't, so I can last. You need to be at full strength in order to do anything later."

"Hn." Sasuke said, and lifted his box to her. "Here."

"Sasuke-kun… Naruto-baka… didn't you hear what sensei said?!"

"But he said that teamwork was the most important." Naruto said decidedly. "You are going to eat and you have no choice in the matter. Besides, Kakashi-teme is hiding down there in the forest, thinking that I can't sense him at all. He's too far away to hear us…"

Kakashi paled as he realised that his student's senses were even more acute than he thought. He was lucky he had talking ninken, if not he wouldn't be able to hear what his genin were saying. The weather changed and the sky became dark red.

"YOU!" Kakashi yelled in fury. "YOU…"

"Pass!" He said, the crinkling of his eye telling them that he was smiling. The sky returned to normal and unfortunately for Kakashi Hatake, sole heir of the Hatake family, he was gravely injured in the jewels when Sakura reacted in instinct. As Kakashi doubled over in pain, Sakura was trying to apologise to the squeaking man. "Gomen nasai sensei, I'm REALLY REALLY sorry!"

Naruto doubled over in laughter while Kakashi used a healing jutsu to ease the pain. "Do you want me to do that to you, Naruto-chan?" THAT sobered Naruto.

"But why did you pass us sensei?" Sakura asked incredulously.

"In the past… all the morons would do was to follow my orders." Kakashi said/squeaked. "Remember this well. Those who disobey orders and break rules are trash, but those that do not care about their team mates are worst than trash."

"Hn." Sasuke replied.

"Okay! You all pass! As of tomorrow all of you will be taking on missions! Let's go!" With that, Kakashi turned around and the three genins trooped off after him, Sakura cheering loudly.

* * *

End of Chapter Three.

A/N : Most of this is utter crack. Don't blame a rather tired brain for this. I've been running low on inspiration for this chapter.

---

(Total crack.) Omake : Snake.

(Harry Potter world.) Voldemort chases down Harry and corners him during some vague time.

Voldemort : Harry! Listen to me!

Harry : No!

Voldemort : Very well. (Uses Kanashibari to freeze Harry in place.)

Harry : What are you doing?!

Voldemort : I guess I'll start my tale from the beginning. Your parents and me come from a different place. We are not of this world. In that place, I am called Orochimaru. (Heh heh heh... you can guess what's gonna happen.) blah blah blah. The scar on your forehead is where your parents gave up their lives to seal the Bijuu that crossed over.

Harry : Noooo...

---

Pointless, I guess. But crack is crack and we all know how much we just _adore_ crack.

---

Omake : Cards.

It was a well known fact that Tsunade of the Legendary Three Sannins was a obsessive gambler. Even more well known was her legendary title as the 'Legendary Sucker'. What was not known was that her sensei, the Sandaime, was responsible.

It had been a normal afternoon for the newly elected Hokage, where he decided to take a minute's respite from the paperwork. Leaving his office, he stood on the railings when his door was knocked off the hinge.

"Control your strength, Tsunade-gaki." Sarutob commented blandly.

"I'm sorry sensei! It was just that I'm really really bored and I wanted to see if you had anything for me to do."

When Sarutobi turned around, Tsunade was alarmed by the devious glint in her normally docile sensei's eyes. "Well, there is something called poker..."

Of course, he learnt to stop talking about strip poker after the first time his table got smashed. The loser had to do the paperwork (In Tsunade's case, she had to sort the paperwork.) and with his All Seeing Globe(TM) in his hands, he never lost.

---

It's not everyday your muse jumps you in the shower.

* * *

A/N : I'll let the poll run till one month later, or I reach chapter 10. Depends on which comes first. 

Current Status.

1) Temari - 1

2) Hana - 1

3) Hinata - 2

4) Ino - 1

5) Sakura

6) Tayuya - 1

7) Tsunade

8) Shizune

9) Kurenai

10) Anko

11) Yuugao - 2

12) Kin

13) Others (State the person you want.)

14) Kyuubi (Suggested.) - 4 [Note : I've declined to add fem in front of Kyuubi since she is already female in my story. Heh heh heh.

15) Karin (Erh?) - 1

P.S. I don't count the votes of those that cannot follow my instructions of _**ONLY**_ two females.


	6. Chapter Four : Wave Arc

A/N : This chapter has been restarted **_FOUR TIMES_ **because I forgot about Firefox's shortcut keys... That is, CTRL E... Thus, I'll apologize in advance if this chapter isn't as good as the previous as I've got rather irritated typing the same BLOODY thing FOUR FREAKING TIMES. It's rather full of crack as a result. It's also short sweet and concise because I've got rather bored of this chapter already. I WANT THE ARC TO END QUICKLY.

Also, I had to spend a rather frustrating day fixing up my new PC... and it's ridiculously confusing and complex monitor, the Samsung Syncmaster 971P. When I realised that the DVI slot was at the bottom of the base, I really felt like tossing the bloody thing out of the window. Stupid manual didn't mention anything.

AND I got addicted to some manga. As a result, this happened. (Masashi could learn something from his younger brother, as his brother Seishi's manga (666 Satan, which I might add, is very nice. Personally, I think it's better than Naruto. But hey, it's a personal preference, so meh.) has the title character REMAIN the lead character...)

I'm rather confused. WHAT exactly is Sennen Goroshi's real name? There is Konohagakure Hiden : Taijutsu no Ougi : Sennen Goroshi, Konohagakure Furui Taijutsu no Ougi : Sennen Goroshi, and Konohagakure Furui Taijutsu Suukoujutsu : Itami no Sennen.

For purposes of this story, (being that I've used it before.) Konohagakure Furui Taijutsu no Ougi : Sennen Goroshi will be the correct one as it sounds nicer and flows for me.

It's also interesting to note that Fullmetal Alchemist chapter 79 page 14 has a giant transmuted Sennen Goroshi...

PS. I just realized that the character of Sasuke resembles that of Squall Leonhart of FF8 closely... So closely that both of them like using "..." or "whatever." or "I don't believe in relying on others."

...Whatever.

Chapter Four : Wave Mission, The Worst Possible Client.

* * *

"What's the distance to the target?" Kakashi asked over the radio, eye focused on his book.

"Five meters to the target. I'm ready anytime." Sakura whispered.

"I'm ready." Naruto said crisply.

"Hn." Sasuke replied blandly.

"Okay, go!" Kakashi shouted.

"URAAA!!!" The three shouted a war cry.

The three leapt from their hiding place from the forest, and Naruto purposely slowed down so Sasuke would be the one on the receiving end of the cat's sharp claws. (He had enough of that, thank you very much.) As Sasuke struggled with the cat, Sakura confirmed the identity of the cat while Naruto had a good laugh at Sasuke's expense. "Stop attacking Sasuke-kun you pussy!"

"Alright! Lost Pet Tora search mission : Completed! Report back to the Hokage's tower."

* * *

"TORA!" The Daimyo's wife squealed as she hugged the poor cat. "My little cute Tora-chan. How I've missed you!" 

_No wonder it ran. __**Gyahahaha**__**! In your face you stupid cat! Shannaro! **_Sakura thought.

_You deserved that._ Sasuke thought rather viciously, his face still smarting from where the claws had dug into. The medic had kept laughing non stop until Sasuke glared at him. _I had enough of your claws. One more time and I'll shove a kunai where the sun doesn't shine.  
_

..._ You deserve it. Stupid cat. _Naruto thought.

The Hokage handed Kakashi their payment, before perusing his scroll of D ranked missions. He took a puff of his pipe before he spoke. "Alright Team Seven. Your next mission…" He thumbed the list. "Walking the dogs, helping in the plantations, babysitting an elder's grandson, shopping in a neighbouring village… ("TORA! STOP!") and retrieving the Daimyo's cat. _Again_."

"NO! No thank you! I'm sick and tired of these chores! I want a harder mission!" Sakura screeched. _I want to prove myself to Sasuke-kun! Then if I'm injured Sasuke-kun will save me and we will... _She squealed in delight, spooking the other three members of her team rather badly.

_Is she insane?_ They thought. _M.P.D. perhaps? _(Multiple Personality Disorder, FYI.)

_I agree._ Sasuke thought, but the only sign he showed was a emotionless "Hn." _Doing these stupid missions wouldn't make me strong enough to fight Itachi. Unless of course, I fight him in housekeeping. _

_How annoying, but it saves me the trouble._ Naruto thought.

_Sigh… I thought it was about time for this… _Kakashi thought.

"WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT!" Iruka yelled. "YOU IDIOTS! YOU'RE NOTHING BUT ROOKIES! Everyone starts with simple duties and works their way up!"

"But we've already done more than sixty of such mundane missions! It's too boring and it's too safe!" Sakura whined. "I want something more exciting!"

"It seems that Haruno-san needs a revision about mission rankings." Sarutobi said calmly. "I'm rather disappointed, but I guess one slips up every now and then. Every single day, our village receives numerous requests from shopping to assassination. Each request is written on this lists (He gestures to the scrolls neatly stacked on the table.) and divided into S, A, B, C, and D in terms of difficulty. The village also has a similar infrastructure, from the Hokage, the leader, and one rank below, the ANBU, the cream of the crop, the Jounins, the elite, the Chuunins, the average, the Genins, the apprentices, and the Academy students, the rookies. The missions are then allocated to each type of shinobi by skill levels. Of course the Hokage and the Academy students don't take missions, as you all know. The ANBU take S ranked missions, the Jounins either take S or A ranked missions, the Chuunin take B or C ranked missions, while Genins take the C or D ranked missions. Only experienced Genins can take C ranked missions, like Team Gai which has been in circulation for a year already. Upon the successful completion of a mission, we receive payment from the client. We take 10 percent as middleman charges to sustain the village and you receive the rest of the money. You guys just became Genin. D rank missions are perfect for you."

"The new Icha Icha comes out tomorrow. Want to go queue up with me?" Kakashi asked Naruto. "Nah, I've already pre-ordered it."

"Do you want to go on a date, Sasuke-kun?" "No."

"HEY! LISTEN TO ME!" Sarutobi raged, his veins popping out comically.

"I… I apologize." Kakashi said nervously.

"But we've already done SIXTY D ranked missions!" Sakura argued. "That's definitely qualifies us for a C ranked mission!"

"… Okay."

"Huh?" Sakura asked intelligently.

"If you want it so badly, I'll give you your C-ranked mission." Sarutobi said. "This mission is a protection and escort mission. You will be protecting an individual until he finishes his targets."

Kakashi looked dumbfounded as Sakura squealed in victory.

"Who is he? A daimyo? A businessman? ..." Naruto asked in curiousity.

"Calm down, I'm about to introduce him. Tazuna-san, you can come out now!" The Sandaime ordered.

"… A pathetic drunk." Naruto finished lamely.

Sure enough, a drunk person clutching a bottle of sake like it was his lifeline appeared. "What?! I asked for a bunch of super Shinobi, not a bunch of super brats! Especially the pink haired one! What sort of kunoichi has pink hair?! Are you a kunoichi at all?!"

"YOU!" Sakura screamed in fury, while Kakashi held her back. "NO ONE INSULTS ME AND GETS AWAY WITH IT!"

"Calm down Sakura. If you kill the client, then what's the point?" Kakashi said.

"I'll just castrate him." Sakura seethed. "Or perhaps I could use Naruto's super powerful ass poke on him. Or would you prefer I give him a kick in the jewels?"

"That still constitutes as harming the client. However Tazuna-san, please refrain from insulting my students. I am a ex-ANBU Jounin, more than enough to take on some bandits or highway men. Unless of course, you were lying about the mission parameters..."

"Of course not. I am the super bridge building expert Tazuna. I expect you bunch of super brats to provide me super protection until I reach my super country and finish my super bridge."

"And I'm the super Hokage. Sure, whatever you super say." Naruto snarled. "What's with the super abuse of super, super anyway?!"

"HEY!" Tazuna protested. "Super is super cool, super hip, and super trendy!"

"As super cool as a super desert." Naruto replied blandly.

"SUPER YOU!" Tazuna was about to rant about super when Kakashi interrupted him.

"Report at the village's north gate tomorrow at 9AM. Be sure to bring sufficient supplies and any tools you might need."

"Hai!" The three genins replied.

"You are dismissed. Go."

* * *

Naruto sat on the tree, his equipment securely stored in his pouches and he only brought a small bag. Thank goodness for seals, or he'll have to lug around a heavy bag with his weights. He chuckled as he checked the scrolls in his bag. 

He was early as usual, and he lied down to sleep on the branch of the tree using the small bag as a pillow waiting for the others to arrive.

-Hours Later-

"WAKE UP NARUTO-BAKA!" Sakura screamed in his ears, causing him to fall off comically. "It's NINE! NINE! What do you think you are doing, sleeping?!"

"Waiting for you slowpokes. What else, you pink banshee?" Naruto snarled.

"YOU!"

"Yo." Kakashi said, as he entered the scene.

"Imposter!" Sakura screeched. "Kakashi-sensei is never on time!"

"Kai!" Even Sasuke seemed to suspect him. Maybe he should have been less tardy? Nah, irritating the Genin were the perks of his job...

"It really is me." Kakashi sighed. "What can I do to prove it to you?"

"If you turn up three hours late!" Sakura screeched.

"Very well." Kakashi was about to go away before Sakura screamed.

"Wait!"

"Look, what do you want?" Kakashi said irritably.

"So you super brats have finally super arrived to super escort the super Tazuna, eh?" It was then the drunk decided to make his presence known, reeking strongly of liquor.

"Let's go!" Sakura screamed, happy to have something to diverge the topic of super and her blunder.

* * *

Sasuke was taking point with Sakura cuddling after him. Kakashi strode next to Tazuna while reading his perverted orange book, while Naruto took the rear. Naruto scowled and took out the manual as Kakashi giggled. Engrossed in reading the manual, Naruto failed to notice a puddle of water in the hot scorching day. 

"Un, Kakashi-sensei? Do they have ninjas in the Wave too?" Sakura asked.

"No, not in the Wave. But in most other countries, the customs and culture may be different, but Hidden Villages do exist, and so do shinobi. To many countries of the continent, a Hidden Village signifies power, respect amongst many other things. It is a form of military might, and this is how they hold power and control over others. However, Villages do not rule the continent. They merely stand equally to the government. A small country like the Wave does not receive much interference from the larger countries and may not need a Shinobi force. Within the multitude of Hidden Villages, those of the Leaf, the Mist, the Sand, the Stone and the Cloud are the most powerful and the strongest. As a result, they are referred to as the The Great 5 Shinobi Countries. The leaders of the Hidden Village are then conferred on the title of a Kage. The Five Kages are the Hokage, the Mizukage, the Raikage, the Kazekage, the Tsuchikage, and they reign over the thousands and thousands of Shinobi in the world. Currently, the Leaf is the strongest, and as you can see, most depictions of the Kage have the Hokage in front as a result of that."

_That lame old geezer is so powerful? **He seems weaker than Sasuke-kun! Shannaro!**_ Inner Sakura screamed. "Hokage-sama is the best!"

"You guys doubted Hokage-sama, didn't you?" Kakashi asked amusedly as he watched his genin's predictable reactions. He didn't even need the Sharigan for this!

"Of course, even the Ojisan has to bow down to Emokage over there." Naruto laughed.

"Shut up baka!" Sakura screamed at him.

Unknown to them except for Kakashi, two figures were rising out of the puddle. One launched the other into the air, and the chain was wrapped around Naruto. "NANI?!" Sakura screamed. (What.)

"One down."

"Too slow! Bushin Baibakuha no Jutsu!" Naruto yelled from the grass patch at the side. (Clone Explosion Technique.)

"Nani?!" The two newly identified nukenins shouted as they were knocked unconscious by the gigantic explosion.

* * *

A rather rough interrogation and quick knock out later, Tazuna spilled the beans, and thanks to some quick intervention on Sakura's part (She wanted to continue so she could wow Sasuke.) they were again, on their way. 

"This is as far as I can bring you Tazuna. Good bye and good luck."

"Super thanks."

They were slowly walking towards Tazuna's house when Naruto's enhanced senses picked up someone.Quickly charging his Qi to his kunai, he sent it speeding towards the person. "WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING!?" Sakura screamed.

"Be silent. You are a beacon for our enemies, so shut your mouth." Naruto snarled.

With that, Naruto and the group walked over. There was a frightened snow rabbit with a bit of cloth embedded in the tree.

"How could you hurt such a pitiful creature Naruto-baka?" Sakura screamed.

_That kunai was thrown in a powerful and fast fashion only achievable with experience. How could a mere genin, the dead last be so powerful? I'll have to keep my eyes on him. _Kakashi thought. _The rabbit has white fur. It is spring now, so what is a winter rabbit doing here? It must have been kept for purely the substitution jutsu._

_This power... I need it to kill Itachi_. Sasuke thought. _I should have been the one who has this power, not the DOBE!_

"DUCK!" Kakashi and Naruto yelled. Kakashi pulled Tazuna down while Sasuke tackled the stunned Haruno, making her fall down.

Naruto however, channelled Qi to his arms and using a Taijutsu stance taught in the academy intended for uppercutting the opponent, he smashed the flailing sword upwards. A figure leapt from the trees to catch his blade, only to be further propelled upwards by the sheer force behind the blade.

"Momochi Zabuza." Kakashi said, as he took in the appearance of the nukenin, who was falling from the sky now.

"The Kopi Nin. I am honoured." Zabuza said as calmly as he could, having spent quite a large number of his chakra to nullify the force behind the blade.

"Your leg and arm warmers make you look like a cow." Sakura muttered incoherently, being heavily stunned by _HER _Sasuke-kun touch her._ Her _Sasuke-kun had _touched_ her. He had _touched _her,_ saved _her life, and any moment now he will sweep her over and french her... (PS. To french someone is to give someone a french kiss...)

"Sharigan no Kakashi, the Old man is _MINE._" Zabuza said, disregarding the cow comment and the shocked look of the Uchiha.

"You fruit." Naruto spat. "An OLD man who is at least twice your age?! Eww..."

"I don't mean in that way!" Zabuza yelled. "I'm GOING TO KILL YOU!"

"You... you fruity fruitcake! You are nuttier than a nutcake! Eww!" Naruto yelled, taunting the A ranked nukenin.

"YOU!" Zabuza yelled.

With a roar, the maddened nukenin charged the blonde. "Get a girl, damnit! Not some old men! Haven't you been laid before?" Naruto taunted, making Zabuza rather furious.

"NINPO : KIRIGAKURE NO JUTSU!" (Ninja Art : Mist.)

Naruto smirked. "You still smell like a cow in this fog... with my nose, you cannot hide."

"8 targets... Throat, spinal column, lungs, liver, subclavian artery, jugular vein, kidney, and your heart..." Wafted the disembodied voice of the Demon of the Mist.

"The only target here is your cow like stench." Naruto taunted.

"So many targets... where shall I strike first?" Zabuza asked, ignoring Naruto's cow comment.

"Your cow smell, perhaps?" Naruto jeered. "You reek like a bacon." (Bad pun, I apologize. b**_e_**acon and bacon aren't exactly similar...)

"Perhaps your throat then..." Zabuza replied irritably.

"Let's see if you can, Zabuza-_chan..._" Naruto replied.

There was silence for a moment, then the sickening sound of metal grinding against metal was heard. "Are you sure you WERE one of the former Seven Swordsmen? Your sword's so blunt that it can't even cut through my thin metal plate on my hands..."

"Did you think that it was smart to irritate a _JOUNIN_, you mere genin?"

"I didn't know it was a prerequisite to smell like a cow before you could become a jounin in Mizu no Kuni." Naruto jeered.

"YOU!" Zabuza roared.

Big mistake. A shinobi cannot let their emotions get the better of them simply because they tend to get sloppy and lose concentration and they would stand a high chance of being overwhelmed.

Zabuza charged forward, and Naruto simply knocked away his blade by it's flat side. Every single blade came in high definition clearly for Naruto, and he easily deflected the strikes. "Really... how did you survive with such weak kenjutsu?!"

"Very well then... I thought I might have wanted to spare you, but now I shall show you what made me one of the seven swordsmen." Zabuza said coldly. A wisp of chakra travelled down Kubikiri Houcho, the tingling blue stream glinting in the sun. The mist dissipated and the cow man held his sword in a hand, the blade scraping the floor.

"Hiden Kenjutsu no Ougi : Hayabusa." (Hidden Supreme Swordstyle : Peregrine Falcon.

A blast of rather rapid chakra exploded out of the blade. With a mighty roar, Zabuza swung his sword in a far different way than before. Naruto was hard pressed to deflect the blades, but he could dodge well enough.

"Hiden Kenjutsu no Ougi : Kitsune." (Hidden Supreme Swordstyle : Fox.)

Suddenly, the forceful and harsh strikes changed into quick and seemingly random strikes. _Fool, I'm the container of the world's most powerful fox... _

_That fool... _Kakashi thought as he set his formerly raised kunai back to his pouch. _Fighting the Kitsune Jinchuuriki with Kitsune style?_

"You have sealed your fate." Naruto said coldly. Striking quickly, the Kubikiri Houcho flew out of Zabuza's newly blooded hands, the skin on his palms torn apart by the sheer force Naruto used to throw the weapon.

Naruto was about to deal the finishing blow to the stunned Zabuza's head, two senbon flew and embedded themselves in Zabuza's neck. Zabuza's eyes turned white and he fell dead... or fainted. Kakashi walked over while Naruto and the attacker talked.

"You are right, his fate was sealed. Thank you for exhausting him."

Someone in a mask dropped down nimbly from a tree. The person was garbed in a standard Mizu hunter nin gear, and the face mask proudly showed the four small waves that was the symbol of the village. Kakashi held his hands to the chest cavity of the nukenin, and nodded briefly when he felt no beat of the heart at all.

"I'll be going now. Thank you again for your troubles."

Disappearing in a swirl of water, the hunter nin disappeared with Zabuza's body slung over his.

"Who was that Kakashi-sensei?" Sakura asked.

"... What did you say?" Kakashi looked at her strangely.

"Could we proceed to my super house first?" Tazuna pleaded, his legs wobbling like jelly from the effort of standing still for such a long time and the fight.

"Lead the way, Tazuna-san." Kakashi said, painstakingly extricating his precious Icha Icha from his pouch.

* * *

A woman of at most thirty years old was leaning against the door. "Are these the shinobi you hired otousan?" 

"Yeah, Tsunami-chan, these are the super gaki super me hired!" Tazuna exclaimed rather wearily. He plopped down on the sofa, heaving his heavy rucksack on the floor. "Rest for today, work tomorrow!"

"Be a dear and show them their super rooms, wouldn't you Tsunami-chan?" Tazuna said. "Hai, otousan."

After they had relaxed sufficiently, Kakashi called a meeting in his room.

_There's something I missed... but what is it? The nagging feeling refuses to leave me be... No. Something is strange. Could I have overlooked something important... That's it! _Kakashi jolted upwards in shock.

"What, sensei?" Sakura asked.

"It's highly probable that Zabuza is still alive." Kakashi said.

"WHAT?! But you said that he was dead yourself!" Sakura screamed. "Is he going to be a zombie or something?"

"Are you stupid or what, pinky? There are no such things as zombies." Kakashi deadpanned.

"The weapons the hunter nin used... the area he hit... how he disposed of the body..." Naruto wondered out loud.

"Correct. The weapon he used was a senbon, which is a thin sharpened rod of metal. It is usually not fatal due to it's small size, unless struck in the basic eight targets Zabuza has mentioned. Doctors even use it for acupuncture, and the two spots he hit was most likely spots that would put a person in a state of suspended animation, or temporary death. Although I'm not exactly a missing nin,I had some basic courses in the pressure points of the body..." Kakashi said.

"Sensei? I thought the hunter nin disposed of the body where the body was found?" Naruto asked, only to be nudged aside by Sakura. "What are hunter nins?!"

"Why, I'm surprised pinky! I thought you were supposed to be the brains of the team!" Kakashi chucked. "Firstly, there are nukenin, which are simply shinobi that went missing. Zabuza here attempted to overthrow the Mizukage. Nukenin are hunted down by hunter nin, which are simply shinobi that kill the nukenin to prevent secrets from the shinobi's body from falling into other's hands. They are trained in methods of dissembling and dissecting and disposal of bodies, to ensure that secrets obtainable from the shinobi's body do not fall into the hands of other Hidden Villages or countries. The basic rule is to dispose of the body where it was found."

"You see Sakura-san, how did the hunter nin dispose of the body?" Naruto asked.

"How do I know? He took the body with him." Sakura yelled.

"Anyway, it's a her." Naruto added.

"How do you know, Naruto?" Kakashi asked.

"Her smell, Kaka-sensei. Women have a distinctive smell to them."

"Very well then. You see, a hunter nin must dispose of the body where it was found because it is highly possible that blood or other stuff might have been spilled. Instead, she chose to carry the much heavier body of Zabuza and his sword. Also, hunter nin are trained about the body so much that it is highly possible that they can put you in a short sleep... However, that requires a large dosage of chakra most hunter nin do not have. It's not perfected yet." Kakashi explained.

"So what you are trying to say is that the hunter nin is a fake?" Sakura asked.

"Yes." Kakashi nodded.

"And so you mean..." Sakura gasped. "!"

"Yes, we might as well consider Zabuza alive." Kakashi nodded. "Thus, you all will have to receive training so that you all can stand a chance against him. Follow me!"

* * *

"Climbing trees? I've been climbing them since I was able to do so!" Naruto exclaimed. 

"Naruto-baka's right for once!" Sakura exclaimed. "What is the point?!"

"What do you think I'm talking about?" Kakashi asked.

"Climbing trees, duh!" Sakura replied.

"Climbing trees with hands or without?" Kakashi asked irritably.

"With, of course! How do you climb without hands?!" Sakura yelled. "Are you mad?!"

"Look at my feet." Kakashi said.

With that, the silver haired Jounin proceeded to climb up the trees with only his feet.

"I've told you I've been climbing trees like that since I was able to!" Naruto said.

"Show me." Kakashi said, squatting down on a branch.

_How did the dobe get so powerful?! I need that power to kill Itachi... _Sasuke thought jealously. _The power should BE mine! It should be mine, the Uchiha genius's!_

Naruto sighed. Focusing chakra to his feet like how the Sandaime had taught him, he proceeded to walk up the tree without hands.

"Good, very good." Kakashi said approvingly. "Now it seems that the rookie of the year isn't what it's made out to be."

Sasuke gritted his teeth and clenched his fists.

"Have you tried water walking?" Kakashi asked Naruto. "Yes, I did."

"Levitating leaves?" Kakashi asked. "Yes."

"Well... I see. Here, this is a scroll containing some Jutsu that you might like. Go practise somewhere while your team mates catch up."

Nodding, Naruto leapt off the tree and bounced off another branch, darting off quickly.

"Well, you've seen both me and Naruto do it." Kakashi said lazily. "Now you two..."

* * *

"Doton : Shinjuu Zanju?" Naruto exclaimed sarcastically. "Interesting my ass! Next!" (Earth Element : Inner Decapitation Technique.) 

"Suiton : Suiryuudan?" Naruto exclaimed again. "New my ass! Next!" (Water Element : Water Dragon Blast.)

"Katon : Karyuu Endan? Old, Next!"

"Nothing? Sigh, I guess I'll just learn these three then..." Naruto sighed.

* * *

"Hatake, did you really have to teach Naruto a FIRE jutsu in a FOREST?!" Tsunami scowled. That was the fifth time the forest went up in smoke... 

"Well, erh..." Kakashi said intelligently. "I had nothing else?"

"Wrong answer."

* * *

Naruto growled in frustration. Why couldn't the fire give in to his control? Every single time he used the Karyuu Endan, the fire ended up going out of control and setting the entire forest on fire. 

Flopping down on the floor, Naruto mischievously used the Shinjuu Zanju to bury Sasuke every single time the Uchiha was alone. Suffice to say, he had to run away from a couple of Katon Jutsu...

* * *

Finally mastering the stupid Karyuu Endan, Naruto flopped down on the forest floor. _What was going wrong? By right I should have absolute mastery over all elements, but... What was wrong with my chakra nowadays? It's getting harder to control... My chakra control is going to the rats at the rate I'm going. _

Pushing all thoughts to the side, he laid down on the floor and got comfortable, before his eyelids felt heavy, and he closed his eyes, going to sleep.

* * *

A girl garbed in a yukata walked along the path carefully, making sure that she didn't trip over anything and upset her basket. Setting her basket on the floor, she was about to pluck a blade of a herb when she noticed someone sleeping. _It's him_. 

She stood up and reached into her yukata to take out a senbon. _It's the genin that won Zabuza-sama. _

Walking closer, she brought her senbon lower and lower, and she was about to pierce his throat before her hand was stopped.

_What... what?! There is nothing, but why can't my hand go lower? Genjutsu? No it isn't._

Giving up on her futile attempt, she holstered her senbon before placing her hands on the boy's shoulders. _Nothing stopped me this time, so what happened?_

Shaking the boy awake, she smiled as the boy looked at her groggily. _He looks so cute... Wait! What am I thinking?!_

Blushing lightly, she giggled. "You'll catch a cold if you sleep without cover."

"I've never been sick before." Naruto replied. "What are you doing so early in the morning, miss?"

"Oh, picking herbs." She replied. "For the shop, you know."

Naruto nodded. "Do you need help?"

"Alright."

-30 minutes later-

"Is this all?" Naruto asked, placing his bundle of herbs in her basket.

"Yes, thank you very much." She replied.

"Oh yeah, I've never caught your name." Naruto replied, blushing lightly.

"It's Haku. What about you?"

"Naruto Uzumaki."

"Nice to meet you, Naruto-kun." Haku said. _Now where did the first name terms and -kun suffix came from?_

"Nice to meet you too Haku-chan." Naruto replied. "Or should I say, Hunter-chan?"

_He knows!_ Haku thought in alarm, her arms lowering towards her concealed holster in reflex.

"Don't worry, I won't harm you." Naruto said. "Just heal Zabuza-san, I want to fight him again."

Haku nodded. "He's your important person right?" Naruto asked.

Nodding again, Haku asked him, "How did you know?"

"Your scent of wild flowers and the slight cow hint of Zabuza." Naruto replied cheekily.

"Why do you insist on calling Zabuza-san a cow?" Haku asked.

"Simple. To infuriate him." Naruto explained.

"Actually, he likes to drink milk." Haku admitted. "Sometimes even I wonder how did he survive drinking so much milk..."

They shared a short laugh, before they got back on topic.

"Haku-chan, why do you stick with that cow?" Naruto asked quizzically.

"It's because he saved me from the dark..."

"Don't go Sasuke on me!" Naruto interrupted.

Haku giggled softly. After all, who hadn't heard of the eternally emotionally depressed sole Uchiha survivor?

"Did you hear about the Great Kekkei Genkai purge in the Mist?" Haku asked, her tone serious.

"I think I did... I saw something like that in one of ojisan's reports." Naruto replied.

"Oh, and who is that ojisan?" Haku asked curiously.

"The Hokage." Naruto deadpanned.

"Shouldn't you be called Naruto Sarutobi if he was your ojisan?" Haku asked.

"He's only my ojisan figuratively. We aren't related at all." Naruto replied, hiding the fact that they were related by his father being Sarutobi's successor and _predecessor_.

"I see." Haku replied. "Back to my story. My mother possessed the Hyouton Kekkei Genkai. We could control ice, simply said. My mother hid her bloodline and acted like she was a normal person, and she managed to escape the genocide. She married a normal man and lived a normal life, and gave birth to a normal baby. Or so she hoped. That child was me. I woke my blood line accidentally one day, and while my mother punished me harshly for that, my father found out in the end... One day, when I came home from school, I found my mother on the floor, dead. She had a stake driven through her heart. That day, I killed my conscience and eliminated the murders. My father hung on a icy spike, stuck through the roof of my former home. They say that innocence is the price of justice. That was the day my innocence died, and few months later, Zabuza-san saved me. He gave me a reason to live..."

"No one should be your reason to live life!" Naruto interrupted, snarling. "One should live for themselves, not for a person!"

"True. But what have I to life for?" Haku asked. "Nothing."

"If you must, live life for me!" Naruto snapped, before he realised what he had said, and both of them blushed rather badly.

"Well, I must be going, Naruto-kun." Haku said, giving him a polite bow as she walked away.

"It was nice meeting you, Haku-chan." Naruto replied. "Too bad we had to meet under these conditions..."

* * *

"Naruto, what were you thinking?!" Tsunami yelled. "Sleeping in the woods? Who knows what might have happened! You might have been eaten by a bear, got lost or..." 

A loud growl from Naruto's stomach cut her short. "... get hungry." She deadpanned. "There's breakfast on the table."

"ARIGATO!" Naruto yelled, hopping quickly onto the chair and wolfing down his breakfast while Kakashi watched with a sweat drop rolling down his head.

"I apologize for his lack of proper table manners." Kakashi said. "Now, if you will excuse us Mr Pig, we'll be waiting for you at the usual place..."

(PS. Kakashi is referring to how Naruto is eating. Not intended as a harmful insult.)

* * *

"Rest up, we are setting off early tomorrow." Kakashi said. "And it was a week since Zabuza attacked, so..." 

"You mean Zabuza is probably striking tomorrow?!" Sakura shrieked.

"Yes, so rest well." Kakashi said, before laying down on his futon. "Also, don't bother trying to unmask me."

_Kya! How did he know?!_ _**We will suceed! Shannaro!**_Inner Sakura squealed.

* * *

"Wakey wakey!" Kakashi shouted cheerfully, waking the three genins from their slumber. 

"GYAH! Sensei, it's not funny!" Sakura protested, while the Uchiha rubbed his sore ears.

"Zzz..." All three awakened shinobi in the room proceeded to look at the source of the snoring.

"What do you guys say... that we wake Naruto up?" Kakashi suggested.

"Suiton : Teppo Dama!" Sasuke yelled, and a glob of water flew quickly towards the sleeping Naruto.

"Doton : Shinjuu Zanju!" Kakashi yelled, pulling Naruto down, leaving his head directly in the path of Sasuke's water bullet.

"WHA!" Naruto screamed as his world turned upside down. "What is going on!?"

"It's morning already." Kakashi deadpanned. "And we wanted to wake you. See, what good teammates we were?"

"YOU CALL THAT TEAMMATES?!" Naruto protested loudly. "I'll make you pay for this! Doton : Shinjuu Zanju!"

In a flash, Sasuke and Kakashi-log found themselves buried to their necks. "How do you keep doing that, sensei?!" The vexed Naruto screamed in exasperation.

* * *

(A/N : Fucking FF keeps signing me out and I've probably typed this section _**FIVE**_ freaking times.) 

A severely irritated Uzumaki stomped his way down the creaky wooden stairs, while an amused Uchiha followed, with an irate Haruno bringing up the rear. Their silver haired Jounin sensei waved at them cheerily. "You guys are slow."

"I'll have something for you when we get back." Naruto muttered darkly.

"Bring it on." Kakashi challenged. "Before that, faster eat so that we can escort Tazuna-san to the bridge."

"Why?" Naruto asked

"It's our job. Did that water bullet get into your brain?" Kakashi teased.

"You'll see what happens to you when..."

"Eat." Tsunami ordered. The two male members obediently started wolfing down the mountain of simple food piled in front of them. Sakura seemed undecided to either eat or not to eat, as there was a high chance of meeting the Zabuza later and she didn't want to puke or defecate in her pants right in front of her Sasuke-kun.

"You should eat, Sakura, or you wouldn't have energy to fight." Kakashi cautioned. "Do you want to faint in front of _your_ Sasuke?"

Deciding that she should eat, Sakura tentively ate a bowl of porridge. "I'm full." She exclaimed. At the same time, the two males slammed down their bowls and glared at each other. "I finished first!" Both of them exclaimed. Then after they realised they finished at the same time, they started glaring at each other again. "Grr..."

"If you two can stop this testosterone match, we could get going." Kakashi interrupted.

"Hai sensei." The two boys chorused.

Heaving up their already packed backpacks, they headed out of the house. "Tazuna-san?" Kakashi said.

"Yes yes, let's super go!" Rambled Tazuna, who was busy dabbing his head with his handkerchief. "But are you sure it's super safe? Since that super cow..."

"I am not a Jounin for nothing, Tazuna-san. You have nothing to worry about." Kakashi said.

* * *

"Wha... what happened?!" Tazuna stuttered. 

A light mist covered the grand bridge, and the sickening smell of blood wafted through the thin smoke. "This... this!"

Kneeling near an unconscious worker, Kakashi used an extremely watered down version of a simple Raiton jutsu to shock a man awake. "What happened." Kakashi asked, in a serious tone.

"A... a mon... a monster c... cow at... attacked!" The man sputtered, before fainting again.

"HOW MANY TIMES MUST I SAY THAT I AM NOT A _COW_?!" A voice roared, scything through the thick mist.

"Apparently you reek too much of cow." Naruto deadpanned.

"This will be the last time you insult me." A figure walked out of the mist. "I shall drag your entrails on the floor to set an example."

"That is, if you can land a hit on me, moo-moo-chi." Naruto taunted. (Moo is the sound a cow makes. Supposedly.)

"Your opponent is me, Momochi." Kakashi interrupted. "Naruto, I want you and the rest to form the defensive perimeter we discussed around Tazuna-san."

A quick confirmatory nod, and the three got into place. Sasuke and Sakura were standing next to Tazuna, while Naruto circled them.

"Haku over there can easily take care of them, as..." Zabuza suddenly appeared beside Kakashi, sword drawn. "She is even stronger than me."

"What?!" Kakashi's sole visible eye widened in shock. "Very well, I shall finish you quickly."

"I get to see the Sharigan this early?" Zabuza taunted. "I'm honoured."

* * *

"Shall we race, Naruto-kun?" The masked Haku asked. 

"Very well, then, Haku-chan." Naruto nodded.

"What the hell?!" Sakura screamed. "Naruto-baka's consorting with the enemy!"

"Shut up pinky." Naruto snarled. "We can start now, Haku-chan."

_That was like a 180 degrees attitude change... Rather like the Haruno. Pfft_. Sakuse thought.

"Come on, Haku-chan." Naruto taunted playfully. "Give me your all."

"It's time we got serious, Naruto-san." Haku said. "I cannot fail my precious person. _Forgive me._ _Makyō Hyō Shō!"_

"What... what is this?!" Naruto exclaimed.

Dozens of ice mirrors rose from the ground and trapped Naruto inside. Naruto was about to mould his chakra for a Katon jutsu when he felt his chakra control get out of hand.

"I'll show you my real speed." Haku said coldy.

_For this to happen now... Kami must REALLY hate me. _Naruto thought. _Blast this final barrier... Of all times, must it come out now?!_

Huge and huge waves of burning Qi flowed from his body, and even the mirrors started to melt. _No! This cannot happen! _

Concentrating forcefully, Haku made the ice mirrors into a hemispherical globe. Compacting more and more chakra, Haku trembled from the stress she was facing.

Meanwhile, Tazuna was attempting to get the two genins beside him to move.

_He can die for all I care. _Thought Sasuke.

_With no more Naruto-baka, maybe Sasuke-kun will pay attention to me for once! _Sakura squealed mentally.

"FOR KAMI'S SAKE, HE'S YOUR TEAMMATE!" Tazuna roared.

"But our mission parameters..." Sasuke said.

"What did your sensei say?" Tazuna argued.

"... Very well." Sasuke said.

"Too late!" Zabuza roared with laughter. "He is dead now! Nothing has ever escaped that dome, not even the Mizukage... Until he opened seven of the Gates."

"The Mizukage could open seven of the gates?!" Kakashi exclaimed in surprise.

"No, it was brought about from his stress. After that, he couldn't even open the first." Zabuza chuckled. "How did that weak dipshit became the Mizukage in the first place..."

A resounding boom and a wave of extremely hot air assaulted their senses.

"Wha... what happened?!" All of them gasped.

When the smoke cleared, a clearly dazed Naruto stood, his clothes and hair singed and smoking. _Is this it... was the barrier passed?_

Naruto flexed his joints experimentally. _Hnn, everything seems much sharper and clearer than before... And my reflexes... _He grinned.

"How about, we finish our fight now, Haku-chan?" Naruto challenged, before disappearing in a plume of smoke.

_How... how did he attain that speed without chakra? _Kakashi wondered. "How about we finish our fight, cow?"

"Very well."

* * *

Haku grunted as she tried to survive Naruto's unforgiving onslaught. 

_How did he get so fast?! _She thought urgently, trying to find an opening.

"Too slow!" With a final kick, he knocked Haku unconscious, and her body tumbled down on the bridge.

"Now who want's another serving?!" Naruto exclaimed.

Sakura and Sasuke was about to glare at their stupid teammate when the sound of clapping cut through the thick mist.

"It seems that the Demon of the Mist really should be called the toddler of the mist..." The squat figure drawled. "I really shouldn't have hired a mere cow..."

"What did you say Gatou?!" Zabuza snarled, charging forward.

"It's true, you are such a simple life form so prone to manipulation, that it's a wonder how you managed to survive for such a long time." Gatou sneered. "Maybe you should look around."

Panicking, Zabuza twirled around to find himself surrounded by rounins. "What is the meaning of this?!"

"It's much easier to hire nuke nin, Zabuza. Have you ever wondered why I only hired missing nin? It's because missing nin are easier to clean up. I just need to hire some rounins to overwhelm you with numbers, or I could even just tip of the hunter nins." Gatou smirked.

"You!" Zabuza roared in anger.

"Yes, I've never ever thought about paying you _AT ALL._" Gatou laughed. "Good job over there blondie, I wanted to repay her the favour of breaking _my _arm, that _slut_..."

Gatou didn't get to finish his sentence, as two rather large killing intent went crashing down around him. Clamming up in fear, Gatou attempted to retreat into the safety of his bodyguards. Naruto growled. "I don't know what happened between you and Haku-chan, but that comment was uncalled for."

"She is something like my daughter to me, and I don't really like people calling her that." Zabuza grinned maniacally. "For that, I shall make you a garland of entrails... Mainly yours."

With a maniacal roar, Zabuza charged forward towards Gatou. "I hope you like it hot Gatou..." Zabuza slashed apart a surprised rounin's body. "Cause where you're going, it's going to be HOT!"

There was a slash, and Gatou's severed head flew from his neck. Quickly scything through a bloody path from the rounin, the nukenin limped out of the circle. "Damn, it seems that my body isn't what it used to be."

"You killed our money!" One of the rounin protested.

"So?" Zabuza replied nonchalantly.

"What have you got to say about that?!" Naruto challenged. "Kage Bushin no Jutsu!"

A thousand Naruto's appeared from the thick smoke and all of them glared at the rounin, who seemed to be about to piss in their pants.

"Troublesome... Bushin no Jutsu : Kakashi Kai!" (Uhhh I forgot the actual name. This means Clone, Kakashi Version.)

"They are demons! RUN!" One rounin yelled, leaping into the river. Like dominoes, the rest followed quickly.

"Heh heh heh..." Zabuza panted. "I have no more reason to kill you, Tazuna. So what happens now?"

"This means that you should run, Momochi." Kakashi said. "Even though we aren't enemies now, there certainly would be hunter nin chasing after you."

"I don't think I'll be doing any running." Zabuza panted. "Just take care of Haku, wouldn't you, blondie?"

With that, the missing nin toppled over and just stopped moving. "He died like a true shinobi." Kakashi commented, closing the eyes of the dead missing nin.

"What happened?" Sasuke and Sakura yelled, running over.

"Isn't it clear?" Naruto said. "They came, they saw, and they ran."

"Not that, Naruto-baka! What happened?" Sakura exclaimed.

"Deaf, pinky?" Naruto drawled sarcastically. "I bashed their asses and they ran like cowards."

"That masked shinobi..." Sasuke interrupted. "And that exploding dome."

"I defeated her." Naruto replied. "And that exploding dome was the release of my powers."

"What happened inside the dome?" Sasuke interrupted, clearly irritated.

"I released my powers." Naruto replied.

"Details." Sasuke snapped.

"Sorry, it's a secret." Naruto said. Sasuke snarled, and was about to press the matter when Sakura asked, "And what happened to that cow guy?"

"He died." Naruto replied testily. "Wasn't that obvious with his body toppling over and what Kakashi-sensei said?"

"In case you couldn't see, we were too far away to hear, baka!" Sakura roared.

"So what do we do now, sensei?" Naruto asked, plainly ignoring Sakura's cry of outrage.

"First, we'll bury Zabuza's body..."

(A/N : If you wonder why they showed so little emotion, it's simply because they most likely had gone through some sort of mental conditioning or some preparation. Also, Zabuza was an enemy and would you really care so much if your enemy (Who was out for your necks.) died?)

* * *

After they (Read : Naruto and Kakashi.) buried Zabuza and stuck his Kubikiri Houcho in the ground acting as the headstone. After that, Naruto gently lifted the unconscious Haku's body bridal style back to Tazuna's house simply because Sakura was too weak to carry her, Sasuke couldn't be bothered and Kakashi just disappeared. 

"Assholes..." Naruto cursed under his breathe. "Leaving me to do this..."

"Do what?"

Naruto jumped in surprise when he heard a voice. "Who's that?"

The voice giggled. "How long have you been carrying me?"

Naruto nearly threw Haku's weakened body off in surprise. "You're awake!"

"Indeed. What clued you to that, Sherlock?" Haku teased. "Oh yeah, what happened to Zabuza-san?"

Naruto remained silent, thinking of how he should break it to her. Deciding that the truth would be the best, lest she decided to threaten some parts of his anatomy he would prefer to remain status quo, he briefly recounted what happened after she fell unconscious.

"Haku?" Naruto asked, after Haku had remained silent for an extremely long time, making Naruto very uncomfortable.

"What... what did he say before he died?" Haku asked, her face pointing downwards, her hairs obscuring her features.

"He told me to take care of you." Naruto recounted. "And I don't go back on my promises."

All of a sudden, Haku turned around and hugged Naruto. "Wha?" Naruto yelped, surprised. Turning his head, he saw tears streaming down Haku's cheeks. Smiling gently, he patted her on her back and walked back to the house, painfully aware that his shirt was being half drenched. _Man... I'll have to get a new set of clothes when we are back..._

* * *

End of Chapter Four.

A/N : Finally done. Some of you might have wondered how exactly is Naruto stronger than Gai. Suffice to say that enough of Qi (Which Naruto has, now.), one can throw anything and have it penetrate through a rock, even if it is just a paper... Can Gai do that?

Poll results.

* * *

A/N : I'll let the poll run till one month later, or I reach chapter 10. Depends on which comes first. 

Current Status.

1) Temari - 1

2) Hana - 2

3) Hinata - 2

4) Ino - 1

5) Sakura

6) Tayuya - 1

7) Tsunade

8) Shizune

9) Kurenai - 1

10) Anko - 1

11) Yuugao - 2

12) Kin - 1

13) Others (State the person you want.)

14) Kyuubi (Suggested.) - 4 (Note : I've declined to add fem in front of Kyuubi since she is already female in my story. Heh heh heh.)

15) Karin (Erh?) - 1

P.S. I don't count the votes of those that cannot follow my instructions of _**ONLY**_ two females.


	7. Chapter Five : Mission Clear!

/N : This is what happens when I play too much CabalSEA...

* * *

Chapter Five : Mission Clear!

"Is it really alright for me to accompany you guys?" Haku questioned. "After all, I used to be an enemy."

"If Kaka-sensei says you can, means you can." Naruto quipped. "If not, some psychological warfare on Oji-san will do it."

"Psychological warfare?" Kakashi repeated. "Who do you think you are, screwing with the Sandaime's mind?"

"His superior." Naruto said proudly, comically puffing out his chest.

"Yeah right." Sakura sneered. "Shouldn't it be Sasuke-kun instead?"

"So I'm Sasuke's superior?" Naruto questioned incredulously. "That's amazing, this coming out of Sakura-san's mouth."

"Don't go putting words into my mouth baka!" Sakura screeched. "You above Sasuke-kun? Dream on!"

Naruto immediately jumped, soaring above their heads.

"There!" He proclaimed proudly. "I was above him!"

"ARG!" Sakura screamed. "Are you such an idiot?!"

"Well, you always call me a baka, don't you?" Naruto retorted.

"You... arg..." Sakura fumed, stomping onwards.

-Evening-

"Tajuu Kage Bushin!" Naruto yelled, as a hundred blonds appeared, quickly setting up the camp site.

"Is it really alright to abuse such a powerful skill like that?" A stunned Haku stammered to Kakashi.

"Who cares, as long as I have more time to read." Kakashi grunted, his sole eye focusing on his book.

"With a sensei like you, that's no wonder." Haku groaned. "How the hell did you even become a Jounin in the first place..."

"Luck?" Kakashi replied sardonically.

"Pah!" Haku snorted. "And who's going to hunt for the food?"

"Naruto clone #051 and #082! Go and hunt me some good food!" Naruto yelled. "Don't bring me back trash or I'll... I'll... I'll do something!"

"Yessir!" The two clones cheered, rushing off.

"Your party seem to be full of dunces." Haku groaned.

"Oh yes Naruto?" Kakashi spoke. "What was that explosion in the fight?"

"Secret, Kaka-sensei." Naruto sniggered. "Do you think I'll tell you so easily?"

"It's still secure right?" Kakashi asked emotionlessly, even though he was speaking of a village secret in broad day... moonlight.

"Yes it is." Naruto snapped. "And the food's ready, so stop talking to me."

-Midnight-

"This is... embarrassing, but I don't have a sleeping bag." Haku whispered to Naruto. "Could I share with you?"

"Couldn't you sleep on the floor?" Naruto stuttered. "A girl and a boy sharing a sleeping bag..."

"Err..." Haku stammered.

"How about I sleep on the floor and you take the bag?" Naruto offered.

Although glad to be offered a chance to escape the precarious situation, her conscience couldn't be suppressed. "But..."

"Feh, I'll just sleep on a string and train my balance like that!" Naruto exclaimed, softly.

-Morning-

"Someone explain to me how this occurred." Kakashi sighed.

"Ehh, I fell in the middle of the night?" Naruto said, embarrassed, nervously rubbing the back of his head.

"And I picked the wrong spot?" Haku offered.

"B- Never mind." Kakashi sighed. "Just my luck to wake up seeing both of you in the same sleeping bag."

-Days later-

"Halt!" The guard yelled. "Who goes there."

"Hatake Kakashi with Team Seven and a friendly." Kakashi muttered. "Returning from a mission."

"What's the password?" The guard's companion barked.

"..." Kakashi pondered. "Err..."

"Don't tell me you forgot such an important thing sensei..." Naruto muttered.

"Ah, I know!" Kakashi exclaimed. "It's Icha Icha isn't it?!"

"No..." The guard deadpanned.

"Your sensei sure has a one track mind..." Haku said disbelievingly.

"It's Paradise!" Kakashi roared. (PS, Icha Icha Paradise.)

"No..."

"It's Violence!"

"No!"

"It's Jiraiya-sama!"

"No! And what's with the sama?!"

"It's ... Uzumaki!"

"What?!" Naruto protested.

"Ah! It's shinobi!"

"..."

"ANBU!"

"..."

"Syuusuke!"

"Who's that?"

"Kurenai!"

"Get your mind out of the gutter!"

"Ah, Ank..." (Anko)

"Never mind, you have already proven yourself to be the Hentai no Kakashi. You may pass."

"First stop, to..." Naruto was about to exclaim something when Kakashi interrupted. "-the Hokage's tower."

"Where else, to the bookstore?" Naruto asked sarcastically.

"Now that is a good idea. Hnn, let's see..." Kakashi muttered.

"No!" All three Genins protested fervently.

"Alright." Kakashi sighed. "I'll just have to pick up some of those books tomorrow then."

Location : Mission Room.

"Team Seven reporting back..."

"The Hokage requests your presence." The clerk politely interrupted Kakashi's speech.

"Fine."

Taking a brisk pace to the Hokage's office, they arrived quickly at the double wooden doors. Knocking on the door once and getting a confirmatory sign, Kakashi opened the doors.

"Team Seven reporting back from a C-turned-B ranked mission." Kakashi muttered. "And we have brought along a friendly."

"I see." Sarutobi plucked the pipe from his lips and laid it on his desk. "And pray, who might she be?"

"The friendly." Kakashi reported curtly.

"Very well." Sarutobi gestured. "And what rank do you think she is?"

"About Mid-Chuunin." Kakashi muttered. "Or Low-Genin. Apparently Naruto won in a fair fight against her."

"So what is it." Sarutobi asked impatiently.

"Chuunin." Kakashi replied.

"Very well then. Get her a vest from the armoury." Sarutobi said, pushing a filled out form towards Kakashi, who gave it to Haku to hold. "You are dismissed. Kakashi-kun, stay behind."

"Hai, Sandaime-sama." Kakashi replied. "You three can show her around."

When the four obediently strolled out of the room, Sarutobi leapt out of his chair with agility uncommon for those his age and locked the room.

"Was there any breakage of the seal?" Sarutobi questioned. "You seem to be hiding something."

"The seal didn't break per se, but there was an explosion of energy when Naruto fought the girl. It wasn't chakra or youki." Kakashi replied. "And any attempts at probing anything have failed."

"Are you sure?" Sarutobi questioned.

"Very." Kakashi affirmed.

"And just for curiosity's sake, where would you place the boy now?" Sarutobi asked.

"High-Chuunin." Kakashi replied. "His attacking and survival power alone far surpasses most ANBU, although his other skills are of a Genin, if not worse."

"I see." Sarutobi muttered. "You are dismissed."

* * *

Naruto groaned as he stalked the streets with a vengeance, lightly clad with just a white shirt and black exercise pants, with a pair of sandals.

"Now, I'll have to stock up on my clothes..." He muttered to himself. "If I remember correctly, that shop was around here somewhere... Ah!"

Strolling quickly, he entered the shop discreetly. "Uzumaki-sama, it's good to see you again."

Face contorting slightly in disgust at the storekeeper's lack of pride, Naruto nodded. "The usual, valued customer?"

"Yes. Two sets in Midnight Black."

"Unfortunately, we have run out of black for the moment. Would valued customer prefer white or brown?"

"No black?" Naruto replied disbelievingly.

"No black." The storekeeper nodded in emphasis. "No black at all, sir."

"... I guess I'll take brown then." Naruto replied.

"Newest update, we have also ran out of brown. Latest order while valued customer was hesitating used up all the brown we have left." The storekeeper said.

"No brown now?" Naruto replied, afraid to believe his ears.

"No brown now." The storekeeper affirmed.

"Gah, I'll just take white then. There is white left, right?" Naruto sighed.

"When do you want them?" The storekeeper asked.

"I'll collect them one week later." Naruto replied.

"Very well. Please pay for your purchase at the cashier. Thank you." The store keeper said.

* * *

"Tell me Naruto." Kakashi sighed exasperatedly. "Why are you dressed so casually?"

"My combat gear were either shredded or in the wash." Naruto replied. "And the new ones are still being done."

"Very well then. Can you fight in them?" Kakashi asked.

"Hai, sensei." Naruto replied. "But is anyone going to assault people in a diner without reason?!"

"Alright now." Kakashi addressed them, ignoring Naruto's outburst.

It was the evening of their return, and for the first time Kakashi wanted them to have a meal together. Mind, they were paying for their own food, lest Naruto bankrupts them.

"Haku here requires a place to stay, while the Hokage is getting a room for her somewhere-I-forgot."

"Not me." Sasuke grunted.

"Nor me. My house is already too small." Sakura moaned. "Three people are already pushing it."

"Don't bother asking me." Kakashi said.

Four heads turn in unison towards Naruto. "What?" He snapped.

"You are the only one left." Sakura concluded.

"You brought her back." Kakashi added on.

"Hnn." Sasuke grunted in agreement.

"So it's settled!" The three excluding Haku and Naruto cheered.

Spluttering, Naruto failed in his attempt to dissuade them from making his measly apartment Haku's new crash pad.

"Waiiiit!" He wailed as the four others started moving in the direction of his apartment.

* * *

"I still can't believe this." Naruto huffed, arms crossed, face contorted in a pout.

"Deal with it, you baby." Haku teased. "Or are you too chicken for a girl?"

"There's only one bed room." Naruto deadpanned.

"The couch's yours." Haku shrugged. "Unless you finally grow a pair and get out of the girls are yucky stage."

"F... fine!" Naruto stammered.

* * *

"Someone explain to me how it turned into this..." Naruto moaned into his pillow, his body incapacitated by a certain somebody's tight bear hug.

For some reason unknown to him, he agreed to her 'dare' and now he was stuck in bed, unmovable as the girl next to him seemingly wanted to crush his body while she slept...

* * *

"Ahh... that was a good sleep!" Haku moaned as she worked the kinks out of her back.

"So says the person who ended up crushing her host in her sleep." Naruto snapped. "Why did it have to be me?!"

"Take it like a man!" Haku teased.

"Oh shush!" Naruto protested. "I'm about to be late!"

"So lil Naruto's about to be late, huh?" Haku laughed.

"So are you." Naruto retorted. "Your assessment test is today."

"Oh... yeah." Haku replied, stunned. "Shit."

Haku was about to strip out of her nightgown when she noticed a furiously blushing Naruto rushing out of the room. "Dolt."

* * *

"It seems that those two need a lesson on punctuality." Kakashi muttered coldly to his two Genins, excluding Naruto. "What should we do to them?"

"Dunk them in the river!" Sakura squealed.

"Hnn." Sasuke grunted.

"In the water it is!" With a huge grunt, Kakashi threw the two unwitting shinobi into the nearby river.

"Wha..." That was all the two could say before they ended up in the water... that is, if Naruto wasn't blessed with lightning quick reactions. And of course, if Haku didn't have the Hyouton Kekkei Genkai. It was a plan run afoul as the two glared at those on the bank as one stood on an icy platform, the other on a outstretching stalk of a plant.

"I'll get you for this!" Naruto protested loudly.

"So says the late brat." Kakashi retorted. "What will you do, get me for this after you die, since you are so slow?"

* * *

Location : Training Grounds 7

"I guess I'll have to let you three do some team building exercises..." Kakashi groaned. "Run 50 laps around the village. If one of you gives up, something will happen."

"That's impossible!" Sakura groaned.

-1 Hour later-

"You still have 35 laps to go." Kakashi muttered blandly.

-2 Hours from the start-

"25 laps more." Kakashi muttered lazily.

-3 Hours from the start-

"20 laps." Kakashi snoozed.

-8 Hours from the start-

"Finally done, eh?" Kakashi laughed.

"No shit, Sherlock." Naruto muttered. "Sakura here is about to start frothing."

"Err... Run another round." Kakashi muttered lamely.

With a lurch, Sakura emptied the entire content of her stomach onto Kakashi, who quickly replaced himself with a log.

"That was close." Kakashi breathed a sigh of relief.

"Was there a point in this pointless activity?!" Naruto snarled.

"Well... Let me think." Kakashi said. "No."

"LET ME AT HIM!" Naruto roared. "I'LL POP THAT SMUG HEAD OFF!"

* * *

"He's late again." Naruto muttered, burying his head in his hands.

"Yo." Kakashi uttered. "Today's going to be a theory lesson."

"Maa... damn." Naruto cursed.

Ignoring the blonde, Kakashi began his speech. "Today, the lesson's going to be on the Sharigan, being that out of us four in the group, two possesses it."

"As you know, the human eye actually captures images in about 80 frames per second. However, due to limited brain power we only process a fraction of it. In times of distress the brain switches off all other unnecessary functions and fully processes all 80 odd frames. However, the body is not used to it and this gives the sensation of 'ten seconds in a second'. What the Sharigan does is to reserve some 'brain space' for the processing of the images the eye captures, sorting them out and giving sufficient information. Also, it's something like an image editing program, enhancing and improving clarity of these images. Also, it notes the tensing of muscles and automatically edit in the next movement of the person. Understand?"

(A/N : My take on how the Sharigan actually works. -.-)

"Hai, sensei." All three chorused.

"However, because of this , the Sharigan causes the body to take a toll. As a result, chakra has to be used to buffer the effects. The Uchiha family, after long periods of using the Sharigan, has adapted to it by subconsciously physically reinforcing the strained areas. As a result, they require minimum chakra to operate the Sharigan, unlike me." Kakashi finished.

"Is there any questions?" Kakashi asked.

"How does the Sharigan copy techniques?" Naruto questioned.

"The Sharigan, while unlike the Byakugan which can actually see the chakra paths, can sense how the chakra moves. It then automatically strips down the entire technique, 'frame' by 'frame', and as such the Sharigan allows the user to learn the technique. You could say it's something like following instructions inserted into your sight." Kakashi replied.

"Like a flash card?" Naruto snorted.

"Something like that, but way more complex." Kakashi retorted.

"I see..." Naruto muttered, filing it somewhere in his brain for future use. "Is there any way to prevent the Sharigan user from copying your technique?"

"Well, you could produce so much chakra that the Sharigan cannot distinguish which way the chakra is going, but it's going to waste a ridiculously large amount of chakra. Or you could do it behind the Sharigan user. Or you could politely ask him to turn his head. Or you could slap his head away. Take your pick." Of course, this offering of reasonable progressing to ridiculous suggestions were not without their uses, as Naruto hungrily absorbed the knowledge.

"Nothing else, then?" Kakashi asked.

All of them shook their heads.

"Very well, now here's your new training schedule..."

* * *

End of Chapter Five.

Poll results.

* * *

A/N : I'll let the poll run till I reach chapter 8.

Current Status.

1) Temari - 1

2) Hana - 3

3) Hinata - 6

4) Ino - 1

5) Sakura

6) Tayuya - 1

7) Tsunade

8) Shizune

9) Kurenai - 2

10) Anko - 2

11) Yuugao - 2

12) Kin - 1

13) Others (State the person you want.)

14) Kyuubi - 9

15) Karin - 2

16) Yuugito - 1

P.S. I don't count the votes of those that cannot follow my instructions of _**ONLY**_ two females.


	8. Chapter Six : Prelude to the first Test

Chapter Six : Prelude to the first Test.

* * *

_I think it's time to open that scroll once again. _Naruto thought. _After all, I've already passed the final stage, so it's alright to look at the manuscript for Universal Grand Shift._

_Hmm..._

-5 Hours later-

_Hmm... I still don't get it. There HAS got to be something wrong with these few lines. It can't be because I'm stupid... Is it?_

Only when he decided to stop thinking about it and look further below, did Naruto really feel stupid. _Fine. Whatever, scroll-sensei, but you could have mentioned that there may be some errors in the manuscript right at the start. Bah, I guess I'll read the section on the Taiji Fist and Sword tomorrow then. I'll have to pick up a sword..._

Carefully sealing the scroll as he took in the time, Naruto decided to have a quick supper of ramen before he slept.

* * *

The next morning began with that brainchild of an evil genius, the alarm clock, screaming it's head off, jolting the highly strung ninja off his bed after multiple missions where they were ambushed in their sleep. Of course, there was the occasion where he actually slept through the attack, and Sakura never did let him hear the end of it for months after that.

Rushing quickly, he made his way to training ground 7, and did some warm ups as the rest arrived. When they all were gathered, Kakashi suddenly appeared on a log silently, suddenly striking at them with his real body attacking Naruto, the two Kage bushins focusing on his other two Genins.

"Too obvious, sensei!" Naruto yelled, easily dodging his sensei's strike.

Kakashi grinned behind his mask. His Spartan training did do wonders to the team, especially that pink haired girl. Switching from kunai to bare hands, Kakashi unleashed a plethora of attacks on the blonde, who easily avoided them. _He seems to be becoming a Taijutsu specialist..._ Kakashi thought. _Maybe I should introduce Gai to him._

Naruto however, was discovering the wonders of the Universal Grand Shift as the skill could create weak spots where there were none, and temporarily creating one in his sensei's stance, and seizing the momentary pause before the next wave of punches, attacked.

"Katon : Karyuu Endan!" Kakashi barked (A/N : Err... The mask has holes? His face wouldn't get burnt, because the mask reflected the flame back onto him. Getting back on topic...), as his Genin dodged the huge flame rather easily. However, the Sharigan no Kakashi didn't become an ANBU Taichou by luck alone, and flowing seamlessly to another Taijutsu stance, struck at his currently airborne target.

Naruto grabbed the offending fist and by some subtle manipulation of his chakra and Qi, yanked the lanky Jounin towards himself and delivered a flying kick, which impacted on a log. Cursing, Naruto kept to a low stance and looked around, hoping to catch a sight of his sensei, before a hand suddenly grabbed his leg.

With a blast of pure Qi to his legs, Naruto leapt with tremendous power, uprooting his sensei from the soil. Taking the chance, Naruto dealt a blow to the momentarily stunned Jounin, but it failed as the log appeared again, taunting Naruto. "Drat this!"

Diving to the ground quickly, Naruto supported his weights with his hands and kicked the approaching Hakate, who nimbly blocked the kick. Naruto did a back flip and landed on all fours, and suddenly jumped, pouncing high. Kakashi quickly leapt backwards, maintaining a fair distance from the Genin, and he suddenly dealt a powerful kick to his Genin, which was sent flying, but Kakashi was sure it was on purpose, as that Genin had a particularly devious smile on his face.

Naruto landed, and digging his fingers deep in the dirt, carved out a path while friction stopped him. This process repeated three more times until Naruto suddenly seemed to snap, pouring barrage upon barrage of fists and feet, forcing the Jounin to go into defence against that wall of pure Taijutsu attacks.

Kakashi felt really stupid when the ground beneath him gave way and he fell into something with the viscosity of slime. "Really," Kakashi commented. "Weakening the bonds between the soil with that four moments of contact. I'm rather impressed."

"But too bad," Kakashi added. "You didn't notice that I was just a mere Kage Bushin."

"Of course I did, sensei." Naruto said lazily, right leg lifted, knee bent, and ready to kick the face of the alarmed Jounin. "Did you forget about the gifts fur ball gave me?"

"...Oh." Kakashi muttered, swatting away the offending feet. "Warm up's over."

"Alright." Kakashi clapped his hands together, dismissing the other two Kage bushins which were either sitting on Sasuke's head or attempting to revive a Sakura who was on the receiving end of a overpowered blow, thanks to the pink haired girl slipping backwards and adding to the force of the punch.

Casting a light Raiton jutsu to shock Sakura awake, and using another Doton : Shinjuu Zanju to uproot Sasuke by simply instead of pulling him in, Naruto unearthed Sasuke.

"Che." Naruto sighed. "How are you going to beat Itachi when you can't even win against sensei?"

"Shut up dobe." Sasuke snapped, embarrassed. "Not like you won either."

"Che, but I didn't lose." Naruto said flippantly.

"Alright already." Kakashi interrupted the petty battle. "I've prepared an obstacle course for today. Now line up in front of me."

Lifting his headband, Kakashi revealed his Sharigan. "It's a Genjutsu obstacle course, so don't dispel it."

* * *

The next thing she knew, Sakura found herself in a deep forest, with a Kakashi doll pointing in some obscure location. Scowling, she hurriedly brushed past the doll and ran in the direction. A plate of steel with instructions winked in the light, as Sakura forgot to look beneath the underneath.

Sasuke groaned as he saw the sprawling forest before his eyes. The Kakashi doll was of no use, and the plate itself was even more confusing. Deciding that since it was a Genjutsu, he couldn't activate his Sharigan. Cursing his luck, the Uchiha decided to rip the damned doll apart to take out his anger before picking up the plate and moving off. Too bad, as the wink of white beneath the plate revealed a piece of paper.

Naruto promptly kicked Kakashi doll off, which resulted in the earth being tossled and the plate and paper flew out of the churned earth. "Ooh." Naruto glowered in excitement. Decoding the metal plate and paper, Naruto forgot to check and rushed off, as the ink behind the doll glowered for an instant.

Kakashi sighed as he checked on the progress of his Genins. Sakura had ran off in the totally wrong direction, and would return to the start point. Sasuke did slightly better, but it was still off and the same thing would happen to him. Naruto... Naruto did it by sheer luck (Or is it hate?), but he still missed the crucial point and would fall into a trap and return back to the start. _These fools. Haven't they absorbed anything I taught them at all?! _Kakashi sighed, and picked out his favourite orange book. _It's going to be a long day._

* * *

Naruto grumpily kicked the offending stone on his path out of his way, viciously. He didn't care if it would hit anyone, for he was irritated. And when the Uzumaki, resident devil spawn of Konohagakure no Sato, was pissed, they gave him a wide berth, wider than normal.

Grumpily opening the door to a shop he knew, he didn't expect to spot a fellow Rookie 9, Ten Ten, inside. "What has got the dobe pissed?" Ten Ten teased.

"Kakashi and his Sharigan." Naruto muttered gruffly.

"And are you here to stock up on your weapons?" Ten Ten asked.

"No, I'm here to get a sword." Naruto replied.

"A sword!" Ten Ten gasped in mock amazement. "The Uzumaki is going to butcher the villagers!"

"Be silent, puny mortal." Naruto snarled in mock contempt. "Do not pollute the air a god amongst men breathes."

"You never got sick of that act, didn't you?" Ten Ten laughed. "Even after the first time you entered years ago you still have that proud look on your face. Perhaps you should change your surname to be an Uchiha."

"Surely you jest." Naruto snarled. "I don't like to have a stick stuffed where the sun doesn't shine, thank you very much."

"Anyway, we've gotten a new batch of equipment. What type of sword do you want?" Ten Ten enquired.

"I'm not too sure. It's either a katana, chokutō, or a tsurugi." Naruto sighed. "I can't make up my mind."

"Maybe I can help you." Ten Ten offered. "What do you want to use it for?"

"Cutting stuff." Naruto replied blandly. "Hopefully Kakashi's Icha Icha."

"Be serious." Ten Ten chided. "Or do I have to call Haku?"

"Fine, fine." Naruto replied. "I think I'll take a katana."

"Come with me." Ten Ten replied.

Displaying the massive range of katana the store possessed, Naruto tried out each sword until he found a satisfactory one. Grabbing the black tinted blade, Naruto tested it's sharpness against the ground outside. "Good." Naruto replied. "I'll take this one."

"Do I need to wrap it up?" Ten Ten asked.

"Nah. Put it and a set of the usual on my tab." Naruto replied, grabbing the offered set of kunai and shuriken.

"Of course." Ten Ten replied. "But you better remember to settle it. Don't make my dad chase after you with his chokutō again."

"Sure, sure." Naruto drawled. "Blame a man for forgetting something just AFTER a B-RANKED mission. Sure, blame the man."

* * *

One Month Later

Location : Training Grounds 7

"Alright, gather up!" Kakashi yelled to his three currently resting Genins.

"What?" Sasuke snapped. It seemed to his two other teammates that exercise made the normally dreary Sasuke more verbose. Too bad that he was usually cranky when he started talking.

"See this." Kakashi muttered something about ingrates, before pulling three sheets of paper out of his waist pouch. "What do you think this is?"

"Paper." All three intoned. "Paper, sensei. Perhaps you wish to play Jan-Ken-Po?"

"What in the..." Kakashi groaned. "This are the entrance slips to the Chuunin Examinations held annually. Entrance is optional, so take them, read them, sign them if you want, and turn up in front of the Shinobi Academy tomorrow at 9 if you want."

"Okay." All three resonated, grabbing the paper.

"You have the rest of the day to think. Dismissed."

* * *

Naruto excitedly leapt his way back to his apartment, or rather, their apartment. Somehow, the Hokage decided that since Haku was already settled in Naruto's apartment, why bother doing anything. The poor old man couldn't bear to enter his office for weeks afterwards, with a Genjutsu overlaying the room, displaying a massive furnace of Icha Icha books.

"Serves him right." Naruto spat at the memory. Unlocking the door, and deactivating the traps with a quick suppressant seal, Naruto entered his house.

"Oh, you're early." Haku spoke, sprawled on the sofa with the television blaring.

"Don't you have anything to do?" Naruto scowled, precariously clearing a path for himself to proceed. "At least clean the damned apartment. It's like the apartment-hidden-in-rubbish now."

"Oh har har."

"How in the world do you have nothing to do?!" Naruto whined.

"It's just a rest after that A rank mission." Haku scowled. "Do remember I spent about a week in hospital, Mr-Regeneration."

"Stop whining." Naruto chided. "_Chuunin._"

"What, _Genin?_" Haku snapped. "Got a bruise you want those nurses to take care of tenderly?"

"Nothing, except to mention that soon you wouldn't be able to use your rank to lord over me..." Naruto trailed off, moving towards his room.

"WHAT?!" Haku exploded.

Rushing quickly to his door, Naruto locked it. "Nya!" Naruto stuck out his tongue childishly.

* * *

"So the dobe turns up." Sasuke muttered.

Grinning, Naruto, with a burst of Qi, leapt up high in the air and landed on the wall Sasuke was leaning on, crouched on it. "So nervous that even Mr-Stone has turned chatty, eh?" Naruto teased.

"Do be silent." Sasuke fumed, as he noted Sakura rushing towards them.

"SASUKE-KUN!" Sakura squealed.

"I dare you to repeat that." Naruto whispered. "Go on, I dare you to."

"No thanks." Sasuke replied dryly. "I rather not go deaf."

"Sasuke-kun!" Sakura squealed. Jumping quickly, Sasuke cursed the quickened responses of his pink haired teammate as he barely dodged her hug.

"Duck." Naruto said calmly. Preferring to trust his teammate instead of risking anything, Sasuke narrowly dodged a certain flying Yamanaka.

"Drat this." Sasuke spat.

"Sucks to be you." Naruto agreed.

Too bad for him, Karma decided to rear its ugly head as a certain Ice Maiden barrelled down the road and crashed into Naruto, both feet smashing into his face.

"Good luck!" Haku yelled.

"AEEEE!" Naruto screeched, as he fell off the wall and crashed onto the ground below.

"Bah!" The cleaner scowled. "Why do I bother doing anything when you kids keep messing it up?!"

Grousing, the cleaner dusted the area Naruto landed it, pointedly ignoring the blonde.

Whining, Naruto attempted to have his revenge on Haku, but a knock on the girl's head revealed an Aizu Bushin (Ice Clone), leaving a certain irate blonde to start cursing and swearing in various languages the blonde didn't know he knew_._

"Calm down, dobe." Sasuke muttered. "Stop raving like an idiot."

"But..." Naruto spluttered.

"Yo!" Kakashi waved cheerily to them, breaking Naruto's impending tirade. "If you haven't read your instruction scrolls, go to room 301."

"It's locked." Sakura muttered. "We can't even enter."

"So?" Kakashi replied, disappearing in a swirl of leaves.

"So?" Sakura echoed. "What 'So?'... Oh."

"For the smartest one here, you sure are dumb, Sakura-chan." Naruto teased.

"Shut up!" Sakura protested, blushing. "I don't see you doing any better!"

"Oh really?" Naruto snorted. "I'm already inside."

"What?!" Sakura screamed, subconsciously pummelling Naruto, who disappeared into smoke.

"Look at the lock, Sakura." Sasuke muttered dryly.

Doing a quick about turn, Sakura could only stare, mouth wide open as she took in the scene before her. The lock was unlocked, certainly it was locked before. Rubbing her eyes in futility, as the lock remained unlocked, twinkling in the early morning sun, teasing her. "I think I need to get spectacles..." Sakura moaned.

"The dobe unlocked it." Sasuke muttered impatiently, as he entered the academy. "While you were spluttering idiotically as Kakashi sensei hinted us. Now hurry up before we get disqualified because someone couldn't walk."

Positively burning with shame, the pink haired girl attempted to pick up whatever left over pieces of her pride that had been shattered by her sensei having to give her a rather obvious hint while the other two understood immediately, ironed by her teammate, the idiot of the team, the blonde baka, the trickster one upping her, getting the upper hand. Then her pride was mauled by her Sasuke-kun's rather acrid words. If she wasn't careful, she might just breakdown one day in the company of these... these super humans. Of course, Sasuke-kun is a god, but it's just a technicality.

"Damned baka." Sakura spat bitterly.

Hidden in a tree, Kakashi briefly pondered the possible negative reactions this might have on his team's performance, but promptly decided that he was just thinking too much, and Icha Icha was better suited for him than pondering. After all, they were teammates for such a long time, a small squabble like this wasn't uncommon. Right?

* * *

Yamanaka Ino paced the what little length that was the corridor, where the door to classroom 301 remained staunchly locked, impatiently. Brow furrowed, seemingly deep in thought, the blonde's hands clenched into fists, before unclenching. _Blast that forehead... How long has Sasuke-kun got to spend his time in company of such a coquette woman? Certainly, not for long. He doesn't need such a scarlet woman hanging around me, no sir! He needs the delicate care only girls like me can provide! What was Iruka-sensei thinking, pairing that idiot with Sasuke-kun? The two fools will only hold Sasuke-kun's wings back, pinning back his wings! _

The sudden sound of footsteps clacking on the floor brought her out of her reverie. Wafts of the argument down the hall caught her ears and she listened intently.

"I tell you that the kunai's from Takebara's in Amekagure are made of better quality! Look at the..."

Promptly choosing to ignore some foreign shinobi's ramblings, her breath hitched when she heard Sasuke's voice. Her heart throbbed, as her hands automatically moved to her hair to attempt to make sure that it was as pretty as it could be, and she also patted her clothes and tried to smoothen out some of those obvious wrinkles. She had to look the best she could, or Sasuke might just give up on her. And _that_ would be just _horrible._

Naruto snorted as his hypersensitive nose picked up the distinctive smell of the Inuzuka. Sasuke however, seemed to be thinking about something as his face was impassive... or was it just Sasuke's normal face?

"Sasuke-kun?" A voice wafted through. Tilting his head up slightly, Sasuke sighed when the person was another marked as a hopeless fan girl, Yamanaka Ino. Seriously, when can they ever learn that what he needed was a strong girl, more than capable of taking care of herself than a weakling that looked pretty, but would suffer the moment the elements make contact. Oh, what would he give for them to get off his back.

So engrossed Sasuke was in his thoughts that he didn't notice the Yamanaka start for him, and he finally jumped when it was too late, when the blonde was firmly attached to _her _Sasuke.

"Gah!" Sasuke squeaked.

"Sasuke-kun!" Ino squealed.

"Gyahaha!" The annoying bark of a certain Inuzuka travelled down the hall way. "Bow down to my awesomeness, fools!"

"Oh shut up, Kiba." Naruto snapped. "Cause everyone knows that I'm the awesome one here."

"You da man, Naruto." Ino snapped sarcastically. "Stop polluting Sasuke-kun's ears with this rubbish."

"Be silent, fools." Naruto snapped haughtily. "Know your place in front of a god amongst men."

"BE SILENT!" The door suddenly opened and a giant of a man suddenly yelled. "Keep the volume down you fools. There's still five minutes to 9!"

The door slammed, leaving behind a silent corridor. "That was weird." Naruto commented.

"Very weird, indeed." Kiba agreed. "But not as weird as you."

"Akamaru, ask your dog to shut up." Naruto snapped. "And keep a close watch on him."

Kiba would have exploded if it wasn't for the lock suddenly vanishing. The door swung open, revealing a classroom they recognized as the one they used for their theory lessons... theoretically. Half of the class always magically disappeared during the time for these lessons, and Iruka had to waste almost thirty minutes herding them back in.

"Get in here." A cold voice wafted out. Moving quickly in order not to anger the owner of the voice, all Konoha Genins jumped as they entered the classroom.

"Where are the other Genins..." Ino wondered out loud.

"You all are being divided by village." The voice, revealed to belong to a Chuunin wearing a standard set of Chuunin gear, and his hair was tousled around, kept out of his face by his hiate-ate. "And you will meet the rest during the first exam. Don't be in such a hurry."

Clapping his hands, the Chuunin raised his voice a tad higher. "Firstly, is there any people who want to back out?"

Seeing no response, the Chuunin muttered something about stupid regulations before talking again.

"Secondly, please move behind a table each, and present all weapons you have on your body on the table."

Naruto patiently settled behind a table, before deciding to just sit on the table, while the rest obediently presented all their kunai and shuriken, with some senbon mixed into them. The Chuunin glared at Naruto. "What the hell do you think you are doing?"

"I AM a weapon." Naruto shrugged. "Of course, if you'll wait a few seconds, I could take out all my equipment."

Moving ridiculously quickly, Naruto neatly displayed out all his kunai and shuriken, and detaching his scabbard with his katana from his back he placed it on the table, before removing all his explosive tags from a pouch, along with a few trench knives, a pair of short tanto, some daggers from his ankle straps, lifting the hem of his long pants. Added to the mix was some medical tape, his hiate-ate, some scrolls from his combat jacket, some metal plates and a single senbon.

"What in the?" The Chuunin muttered in amazement. "Explain how are medical tape, hiate-ate, and some metal plates weapon?"

Without prior warning, the Chuunin found himself hoisted by his neck with the medical tape that was formerly on the table. "It's something like garrotte wire." Naruto briefly explained, as his Kage Bushin lowered the Chuunin.

"Next, hiate-ate." The Chuunin burned lightly with embarrassment, having been taken by surprise by just a mere rookie, a mere Genin.

Deciding that actions were better than words, Naruto infused his Qi into the Hiate-ate, turning the blunt forehead protector's edges into that comparable with a chakra fang, without the telltale sign of white. Slicing quickly, Naruto managed to remove a thin film of lacquer from the table's side, and held it out for the Chuunin to inspect. "It can be both used as a knife and a garrotte wire. The metal plates are also used in the same way, and they also can provide some heat treatment."

"Okay." The Chuunin moved on, and after finishing his inspection, and confiscating a few items like a fart grenade apparently Kiba thought it would funny to bring in, he led them out of the room and back into the doorway, and unlocked a door at one obscure end of the sprawling complex.

"Welcome," the Chuunin said, "To the first test."

* * *

End of Chapter Six.

A/N : Naruto's self reflection has to wait till about 4 chapters later. I apologize.

Poll results.

* * *

A/N : I'll let the poll run till I reach chapter 8. (PS, just so you know, the result of the poll are not final. My decisions are, so in case I see either one person I have no ability to write a decent romance with, sorry, but out.)

Current Status.

1) Temari - 1

2) Hana - 8

3) Hinata - 10

4) Ino - 1

5) Sakura

6) Tayuya - 1

7) Tsunade

8) Shizune

9) Kurenai - 3

10) Anko - 4

11) Yuugao - 5

12) Kin - 1

13) Others (State the person you want.)

14) Kyuubi - 13

15) Karin - 2

16) Yuugito - 4

17) Koyuki Kazahana/Yukie Fujikaze - 1

P.S. I don't count the votes of those that cannot follow my instructions of _**ONLY**_ two females.


	9. Chapter Seven : First Test

Chapter Seven : First Test.

* * *

The Genins obediently trooped into the room. The room was large, and Naruto hadn't seen it at all even with all his Kage Bushins swarming the place once in preparation for a prank. The ceiling was about four meters tall, something quite impressive since the normal classrooms were only about one. There were rows and rows **and rows** of tables and chairs. Naruto whistled in happiness when he realised what the room could be used for.

Ramen. Bowls and bowls and bowls and bowls of that mouth savoury food, the food that gods would kill to eat (Naruto assumed.) and the sole food he wanted. The noodles would be slightly crispy, with a tangy taste. The broth, slightly salty yet not too salty, and lightly seasoned with miso. And the Naruto on top would of course, taste fantabulous, slightly crispy, but yet slightly tender. Throw in some light garnish on the top, and the Uzumaki would gladly finish it.

Now, if you add the two together, you could have that ridiculously large amount of tables have an even odiously large amount of ramen on top. Oh yes, how he'll kill for that. (Rather random.)

Kiba could only mutter a wow as the other doors opened and other Chuunin hopefuls entered. These were an assorted bunch, and some even had masks, breathing masks used underwater no less, equipped.

"Alright!" A giant of a man barked. He was stout, and would probably survive a direct blow unfazed. His hiate-ate was attached to a bandanna in black, and there were traces of scars uncovered, Naruto observed. "Be silent brats!"

The room quietened down.

"Line up in a single profile and queue up for a plate." The man barked gruffly. Naruto soon received a black plate with "1" emblazoned on it.

"Now, separate yourselves and get into groups of the same colour." The man instructed.

Naruto detached himself from the gathering bunch of shinobi to emerge unfazed at the back of the classroom, where he found Shino clutching a pink plate. "Nice colour." Naruto teased. "Suits you."

Shino just gave an incoherent grunt.

The mess of Genins soon sorted themselves out, but not before that man exploded and was threatening them with torture.

Naruto's face was slightly grim when he noted that he was stuck with plenty of Kusa, Iwa and Oto nin, who all looked like they were unstable. "Line up against the door with the respective colours!" The man barked rather irritably, grumbling something about brats.

"This is a test scaled to your abilities." The man explained. "Inside is a Jounin who will explain to you the objectives and give you your instructions. Besides, I did never introduce myself, did I? I am Morino Ibiki, Tokubetsu Jounin, Head of Torture and Interrogation Division from the ANBU. Rather _pleased_ to meet you."

A few faint hearted Genin felt their legs turning into jelly from Ibiki's tone. Naruto snorted. That man sure liked to play mind games. Quickly entering the door, seeing as he was the first, Naruto was slightly surprised to see that Chuunin-now-Jounin he met years ago, Yuuhi Kurenai.

"It's rather surprising to see you getting the first black plate." Kurenai said, especially when the plates are selected according to your power."

"So?" Naruto asked rather impatiently. "Am I amazingly weak or amazingly strong?"

"Nuh, uh." Kurenai wagged her finger playfully. "Not telling. Anyway, your task is to run through this obstacle course right here!"

Somehow, appearing right in front of him, was an obstacle course with an extremely obnoxious and loud entrance sign plastered rather badly over a hole. "Should I dispel this Genjutsu?" Naruto drawled.

"No!" Kurenai protested. "Use your brains for once, damnit!"

"Whatever!" Naruto yelled back as he entered the hole.

"Now what am I supposed to do?" Naruto snorted, as the hole closed up behind him. "Dispel the Genjutsu and fail. And the room's empty. Right. What am I supposed to do?!"

Deciding that he would try to smash those walls, Naruto picked up a stance and attacked the wall, emerging with a badly bruised hand and tremendously loud cries of pain.

"Another wall then!" Naruto proclaimed, but deferred to his katana in case it was solid. Charging his Qi to the black tinted blade, Naruto delivered a powerful slash that boomed upon contact. It leaved a huge gouge in the wall, and Naruto coughed violently as the dust settled. The process was repeated on the other wall, the floor, and even the ceiling to no avail.

Cursing his dismal luck, Naruto placed his ear on each surface and knocked on them, checking them individually. Discerning that the wall opposite the now closed hole was hollow somewhere off, Naruto prepared his katana again. Gritting his teeth in preparation, Naruto unleashed something monstrous on the unlucky wall.

* * *

Sakura sighed. Her task was rather simple, but rather troublesome at the same time. She had been instructed to use a Kunai to dig a hole. And so she dug, but using the technique of imbuing chakra into her arms, the method Kakashi-sensei had taught them one day when they were resting after one of his surprise attacks again.

The hole was soon dug, and she gingerly lifted up the metal box at the bottom. Realising that it was locked, and by the sound of liquid squishing in the box, wrenching it open will prove VERY disastrous, as the liquid was most likely contained in a small vial, an extremely potent acid that would dissolve the contents inside. Of course, she could have used her skeleton key, but her weapons and equipment were all confiscated.

The solution to her dilemma eluded her.

* * *

Sasuke almost laughed at the stupidity of the test. He was an UCHIHA. Were they looking down on him?

Sasuke repeatedly threw the bundle of senbon towards the target. For what reason he wasn't told, but deciding that he best follow the instruction the dour instructor barked at him and throw all his senbon, Sasuke went on auto pilot as his mind whizzed through all the scenarios.

_They must be making fun of me._ Sasuke frowned.

Naruto panted in exhaustion as the _damned _wall finally crumbled under the onslaught.

* * *

_**Premature end due to broken arm. Both bones in left arm broke, so don't expect an update soon.**_

Newest stand : Restarting, since I made a rather large amount of mistakes and left out a rather large amount of stuff I wanted to add but forgot about. Will generally stick close to current plot, though. (PS, my arm's in a splint now. Removed the cast yesterday.)


End file.
